Image courtesy of Nicola Beccu
The ‘ball dropping’ hype, followed by a passion and excitement for a more fantastic tomorrow, seem to absorb much of the energy that’s meant for the actual changes to take place. We fill up on bread while waiting for the opportunity to dig in to the main course, only to find our appetite has been prematurely and unintentionally quenched. By the time we enter into the very beginnings of February we are already falling back into our blandly average existence. What went wrong?!
The Gym Membership Mistake
I’m sure many of us are aware of the masses of new gym memberships that are acquired this time of year. People who have never seemed to break through the barriers of that one month hump, seem to feel that THIS year will be different. But for about 80%, it is not.
I had a great ‘back and forth’ in the comment’s section of Writer Dad, with James of Men With Pens. I had written a guest post about the importance of motivation in reaching our goals this New Year. James brought up some excellent points about our need to clearly define our desires and know what we really want. Toward the end of this comment conversation we had defined the need for both desire and motivation to ‘join together in Holy Matrimony’. It is only in this perfect marriage that we can possibly think something like a one month barrier can be broken. Attempt this feat, one with out the other, and you’re journey will be doomed from the start.
Here is a ‘snippet’ of one of my comments:
“I’ve always believed that they go hand-in-hand; work together. One without the other (desire without motivation, for example), going back to the engine analogy, is like driving a car with square wheels. You may be able to keep moving forward with brute force (desire), but will never pick up momentum (motivation) and ‘fly on by’. You may be thinking that motivation is supposed to be the brute force, but I look at the other way around.
Let’s say you’re driving along, motivation keeping the odometer pegged. Suddenly you hit a hill and lose all momentum. At this point you have to dig deep and feed off the desire to make it up the hill (losing that last 10 pounds, as you mentioned). But once you reach the top of the mountain your momentum/motivation builds back up and you speed on down the hill.
So I’m saying it’s a perfect marriage, one that can’t be separated. At least if you want the ‘full effect’ of your forward motion.“
Basically, our initial motivation to make positive changes in our lives is what gets us through the first stage of the New Year. But it’s when we hit that first ‘hump’ that the wind can completely leave our sails and we must rely on our deep desire to push ahead and stay on track. Fail to do so and you’ll just roll backward, but make it over the peak and your motivational momentum will kick back in and give you the boost you need to truly change your life. (Oh, and speaking of going down hill; the later part of the discussion turned into talk about how Sean’s lazy, how I clean his gutters and do his laundry and how James has his toilets cleaned for free. DON’T ASK!
)
In light of the above thoughts and our absolute need to make it to that next level of lasting positive change, I’ve provided 10 things that I believe will help us all make it into February, heads held hi and goals becoming realized.
- Start small. A great way to get no where in January is to try and take on the World from the start. I’m not saying you don’t have that on the list, just be sure to build up to it with some small accomplishments already under your belt.
- Clearly define your desire. Don’t just say you want to lose weight. Make sure you know how much you want to lose. And know exactly WHY you want to make the change. The closer you are to grasping your goal in the precise form you desire, the more effective your drive will be as you periodically perceive the purpose of the pain involved in your pursuit. (Does anybody see any P’s around here? I’ve seemed to have run out.
) - Adjust your surroundings appropriately. Can you see an alcoholic sitting in AA, telling the group about their struggles to stay sober while working at a bar? If we want to stop eating junk food then we need to rid our kitchen and pantries of this particular food. Not only that, but we need to be careful where we go when our cravings strike. Basic preparation is not enough. We need to think ahead and be ready to defend our desired change to the ‘death’.
- Substitute a loss with positive gain. If you take something away from yourself in making the change, make sure you’re aware of the void you have created. There was a need or desire that was being fulfilled that is now left in want. Find a healthy, positive substitute and place it accordingly. If you’re not eating dessert, have a small piece of fruit instead. If you’re buying less things, find free activities to fill the ‘purchase time’ that used to take place.
- Enlist a friend to aid in the journey. There’s no better way to stay on track than to have a fellow human being encourage you along the way. When things are going well, they can applaud your accomplishments, but when you find yourself running out of steam it will be their cheers that will re-establish your enthusiasm and get you over that hump. Finding someone who is ALSO pursuing positive change is even better. This way you can share the pats on the back and cherish each others cheers. And what you’ll find to be the best medicine for success is the wonderful feeling of encouraging another. Suddenly your focus is pointing outward and your own struggles feel less impossible.
- Declare your resolutions to the World. Letting the ‘masses’ know about your personal challenge will help keep you from letting the desire die. Accountability is at least ‘lightly’ established and your statement is set in stone. If you’d like to share your resolutions with this particular community, click here and let us know what you plan to pursue in 2009.
- Set a time line. Don’t leave your resolutions to ‘rot’ over the next 365 days. An entire year for a deadline is almost always too much cushion. Set fairly aggressive spans of space to reach the next mile post on your journey. Once accomplished, reset the clock and continue to push forward. This may sound like a recipe for burnout, but the opposite will most certainly be a road to failure. Just be sure to listen to your mind and body and take breaks when you need a breather and you’ll be just fine.
- Celebrate each step forward. Nothing better promotes forward motion than our own excitement of the ground we’ve tackled thus far. Make sure you are fully aware of every victory (no matter how small) and you will build up a momentum that can carry you through the bumps in the road.
- Don’t be afraid to make adjustments, as long as they don’t lead you in the wrong direction. If you realize that losing 20 pounds in 2 weeks is too drastic and unhealthy, than make the proper adjustments and keep on going. Don’t become discouraged or feel like you’ve failed. It’s not about the numbers or the time, but it’s the lasting results that matter.
- Take it one day at a time. It’s classic advise that’s passed the greatest tests of time. Though having a strong vision of our future is important, reaching these mileposts in our journey requires steady steps and finite focus. When thoughts of where we MIGHT be crowd out the facts of our current state, we risk becoming unnecessarily discouraged. Running that marathon in march might not seem possible by the middle of January, but let time tell that tale. Your job is to tame the tasks of today and nothing else.
Hey Eric,
By announcing our resolutions to the world will definitely hold us accountable which make it more likely to achieve our goals. I did it for my 30 days challenge and I am glad that I announce my goals publicly which make me think twice before I skip my workout. Great tips, Eric.
Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger
Vincent’s last blog post..Personal Development Blog Carnival For 2009
Hi Eric
Starting small is a key step. One small goal reached keeps the momentum going to tackle the next.
kathy’s last blog post..How to Use a Productivity System to be Unproductive
I’m excited about this year!
Ross’s last blog post..New Year? Bring it on!
Wonderful breakdown. I think you hit it on the head with #7. “Set a Time-line”. I read a great quote on John Chow’s site that said…
“A goal without a time limit is no goal..”
Just one addition, which was the topic of my first post this year….Don’t wait to make that change. Start today, any way you can. Get off on the right foot! Take it one day at a time thereafter.
Pj_Normz’s last blog post..A Yin vs Yang New Year’s Tradition
I need to add strength training to my schedule. I have a new blogging buddy, we are holding each other accountable.
Tess’s last blog post..Happy Holidays
It was a great conversation, and I appreciate your willingness to participate in it, Eric. (You missed a spot, btw. Here. *points*)
I’ll do you one further with clarifying your goals. The more specific you are, the better it is. “I will read Made to Stick by the end of February.” How? “By reading one hour every night between 7 and 8pm.” And? “And if I can’t read on one night, I will read an extra 15 minutes the next night to compensate for the skip. I will never miss more than one night without reading.”
It’s not just “lose 10 pounds.” It’s lose ten pounds by February ten at the rate of 2 pounds a week, etc etc.
AND!
Make goals REALISTIC. I’d like to earn a million dollars, but that’s a dumb goal. My goal is to earn $100 by next Friday. That’s realistic. Etc.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..Drive-by-Shooting Sunday: Linker’s Blog
@Vincent: “…I am glad that I announce my goals publicly which make me think twice before I skip my workout.”
That’s exactly right! By keeping our goals to ourselves we are only weakening our resolve to reach them.
@Kathy: That’s exactly right. I like the way you put it, too.
@Ross: Me too, my friend.
@Pj_Normz: I love that quote. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Starting today is definitely key. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of, “I’ll get to it tomorrow”, with ‘tomorrow’ always being a day away.
@Tess: Congrats on the blogging buddy. I don’t know what I would do without my buddies in the blogging world. We need other bloggers who actually care about our success, to be able to work with and rely on for support.
@James: I also enjoyed the ‘blogging banter’. Sean said you were a pretty cool guy. I guess I’ll have to concede that opinion.
Those are great points to add. There’s no doubt that being specific is key to accomplishment (I mention this in point #2, but I like how you get more specific with your analogy). And yes, unrealistic goals will only become a ‘thorn in our side’.
“I’ll do you one further with clarifying your goals. The more specific you are, the better it is. “I will read Made to Stick by the end of February.” How? “By reading one hour every night between 7 and 8pm.” And? “And if I can’t read on one night, I will read an extra 15 minutes the next night to compensate for the skip. I will never miss more than one night without reading.”
Best paragraph I’ve read about resolutions yet. Loved it, James.
Writer Dad’s last blog post..New Year, New Opportunity
I have never been a big fan of starting small. The last time I started small, I accomplished small results. Now, I prefer to shoot for the moon and hopefully end up half-way. However, the disappointment may be discouraging for some people.
Overall, I think creating successful new years resolutions is about how you view success. Just because you miss your goals, doesn’t mean you failed. It means you didn’t get as far as you wanted, but half of the success is still a success.
Success Factors’s last blog post..How to Learn From Your Competition, Success Factors Day 2
I like #2 ” Clearly define your desire” because it combines knowing what you want and the powerful feeling you have when you really want something bad!
Also, I love the image you used at the beginning of this post. Beautiful!
Amanda Linehan’s last blog post..See Yourself As Others Do
@ Success – There’s a difference between starting small and shooting for the moon with a clear milestone path. I don’t start small myself (hell, anyone who knows me will tell you that), but I *do* make milestone goals. Without them, I’d never reach where I want to be because I don’t have a clear, direct path to that moon.
Third start to the right. Straight on until morning.
James Chartrand – Men with Pens’s last blog post..Drive-by-Shooting Sunday: Linker’s Blog
@Sean: The guy knows his stuff!
@Success Factors: You raise a great point. Shoot for 100 and even if you only get 50, it is still better than a small 10.
@Amanda: That’s one of my favorite points as well. And thanks! about the image.
@James: “Third start to the right. Straight on until morning.”
A little Peter Pan action. NICE!
Eric.