EDITOR’S NOTE: This is a guest post by Alex Fayle of SomedaySyndrome.com.
When you go to sleep each night, do you nod off content with what you have accomplished? Are you even aware what you did, or are your days full of just getting by?
If the latter, you are likely living on autopilot, letting the world decide your actions for you. When you live on autopilot, you don’t make active choices and you follow through on expectations without ever stopping and thinking about what really matters to you and what would make you go to sleep at night fulfilled by the actions of the day.
To turn off the autopilot you need to start making choices and that starts with deciding what you really want out of life. While that might sound like a daunting task, if you take it step by step you can not only figure out your dreams, but achieve them too.
Here are nine ways to figure out your dreams, turn off the autopilot and start living the life you really want.
1. Be aware of your life
If you live without paying attention to your day-to-day actions then you’ll never know what your dreams are, let alone achieve them. When you’re aware of your actions, then you can make conscious decisions that lead you to your dreams.
2. Stop focusing on the negative
While I love a good wallow, staying in a negative mental or emotional space will hold you back, stuck in self-pity, self-doubt and a life you don’t want.
3. Take off the rose-coloured glasses
Believing that everything will work out for the best is important, but belief isn’t everything. You need critical thought and action to go along with that belief.
4. Learn to direct your energy
Many of us have lots of dreams and to-do lists the length of our arms, however if we try to do it all, nothing will get done. That doesn’t mean having only one dream – I have three that I’m pursuing – but you can’t pursue ten at the same time.
5. Do what’s right for you
As kids you might have heard a lot about peer pressure and more likely felt it. Unfortunately it doesn’t go away when we grow up. And we can apply it to ourselves, internalizing what we think people want from us instead of pursuing what we really want.
6. Recognize the difference between dreams and daydreams
I love daydreams – I can pass the whole day dreaming about being the next JK Rowling – but the reality is that most writers never get published. While I have no doubt that I will be published one day, I don’t let my daydreams interfere with reality.
7. Create a simple plan
The emphasis here is on the word simple. Obviously you need to know where you’re going and what steps to take, but don’t over plan and get lost in the details.
8. Look for progress
Focus on how far you’ve come, not how far you have to go. I look at how much more work I have to do to get an agent, and a publishing deal and I forget that I’ve had short stories published and I’ve written a novel.
9. Live in the moment
As you move toward you dream, the future will call to you, drawing you into the perfect world where all your dreams (or nightmares) have come true and when that occurs, nothing happens in the now. Why bother acting when you already know the result?
If you follow these nine steps, you’ll not only find your dreams, but get started on the journey to completing them.
*****
Author bio:
Are you stuck in a life you don’t enjoy? Have you lost touch with your dreams? Have you *settled* for a daily routine that leaves you longing for a different life?
It’s time for a change.
Alex Fayle, of Someday Syndrome, is a former procrastinator who uses his visionary ability to uncover hidden patterns and help you break the procrastination obstacle so that you can finally find freedom and start living the life you desire.
Learn more about how you can start loving life again at SomedaySyndrome.com.
Hi Alex,
That was a nice, concise post that has a lot of great thoughts embedded in it. I think the first two items in your list are the most important, especially #2. It’s essential that we practice continual thought recognition, and, when we find ourselves in a negative thought pattern, turn our focus toward something more positive. It’s easy to get stuck in an cycle of self-pity and doubt.
Thanks!
Jake
Jake | Revive Your Life’s last blog post..Are You Angry? That’s Great!
Nice guest post, Alex! I really enjoyed reading about the nine steps and I especially liked #9!
Positively Present’s last blog post..10 lessons from the classroom of life
Hmm… if you believe you’ll be published one day, why is that a daydream?
The A-Hole Guru’s last blog post..Why You Secretly Love The Life You Say You Hate
@Jake
It’s amazing how quickly we can spiral down through layers of negativity, eh? When I wallow I always force myself to a time limit and then go do one small thing that will create some immediate success and show me that the world isn’t as bad as I’m pretending it is.
@Positively Present
#9 has been the biggest challenge for me – I used to live in the future almost completely, never getting anything done in the moment.
@The A-Hole Guru
The daydream isn’t getting published – that’s a concrete goal. The daydream is being as rich and as famous as JK Rowling – and that’s what could get in the way of moving forward because if I write with the sole purpose of getting famous, my writing will be horrible.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post..Stop Procrastinating and Get Unstuck
Hi Alex,
Thanks for this. Your posts always give me food for thought!
I’m a bit confused by what you said about the daydream/dream/goal aspect, too. For me, being able to daydream without clipping my own wings is the first step towards honing a dream.(Maybe we just define ‘daydreams’ differently.) Having and examining a dream, an ideal situation, is a crucial aspect of creating goals and then implementing the strategies for getting there. We have to discover which parts of the dream are vital to us, how many aspects of it we already have in place and how much of it is comprised of frills we could forego for now. It’s only when we define all of the aspects of a goal, and define how achieving it would make us feel that we can truly be inspired by it.
janice’s last blog post..Birds, Bees and Blogging
@Janice
For me a daydream is an unrealistic fantasy – they definitely have their place – I totally daydream about owning a certain villa I jog past several times a week, and it does inspire me, but I could easily get stuck living in the future where I spend all my time daydreaming and not doing anything that moves the achievable dream forward.
That’s the problem with a sentence to a describe a concept – a lot gets lost in the mushing down…
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post..The Positive Power of Peer Pressure
Hey Alex, these are great, practical steps to get people moving towards their goals. I love #9 – living in the moment. It can be easy to forget about that when you are in mad pursuit of your goals. Being able to balance between living in the now and pursuing your goals creates a state of a flow.
Celes | EmbraceLiving.Net’s last blog post..Cultivate a Good Habit in 21 Days
Alex, this was a really good article. #1 and #9 (coincidence?) are the most important in my view. Many people are simply not aware of what they want (#1) or what they are doing now (#9).
Four and six are important in a similar way. Most of us have a lot going, sometimes too much, and it’s important to make decisions about what’s really a priority for us.
@Celes
#9 is the one I have the hardest time with. My imagination takes me into the future so often and it’s such a fun place to play!
@Stephen
Breaking free of chronic unawareness is the biggest challenge isn’t it?
@Paul
I *know* I have too much going on and deciding on priorities is super difficult at times.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post..Make a Decision, Any Decision: Lea Woodward Interview
Hey Alex
really like the way you flipped the way people go to sleep, the “just getting by?”
number 3 made me burst out laughing. one of those, “that’s soooo true” moments
number 8 is great too… but sometimes is distorted. can’t really see the small incremental gains – that’s why i really recommend keeping momentos and little annecdotes and recordings to see how far you’ve actually come.
…and of course, number 9
really power advice
inspiring stuff
gave it a stumble!
all the best
alex – unleash reality
@alex
Numbers 3 and 8 are so hard to balance – on the one hand we don’t want to be overly optimistic but on the other hand we want to focus on the positive. I too track what I’m doing and regularly look back to see how my various projects are going – helps me remember just how far I’ve come when I’m feeling despondent.
Thanks for the Stumble!
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post..Become a Nomad with the Location Independent Business Course
Great advice!
This is exactly the kind of things that I try to remind myself everyday. That and to live consciously and be aware of your actions and their reactions.
Sean’s last blog post..How to Simply Write
“Take off the rose-coloured glasses”
- Good point. It’s still very important to be grounded to reality to help you make better decisions.
The problem with me is, I *know* these things, I just don’t carry them out too well, unfortunately. =(
Hi Alex,
I love #5. Do what’s right for you. Too many people are too concerned with how other people think and forget about what they personally think, thus, being too afraid to pursue what they want and be who they want to be.
Cheers~
Mark
Wise words indeed thank you for the optimisim and Monday morale boost
)
La Chat Noir’s last blog post..Psychologies Magazine: July 2009
Hi Alex.
For me my issue was to stop focusing on the negative. I did that a lot back in the day. But I’m proud to say I’ve overcome that. My issue at times, however, is I find it hard to shut my mind off at night and fall asleep.
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@Sean
It’s a day to day challenge, isn’t it – and yet it’s so easy to slip back into autopilot. I write and coach on this stuff and yet I still find myself suddenly working on autopilot!
@J Grants
The balance between dreams and reality can be hard to find, but with practice it comes.
@Julie
As Sean says, it’s daily practice and when we slip, it’s a matter of getting back into the practice. When it becomes habit it’s much easier but for it to become a habit it takes a lot of work.
@Mark
Yes, far too many people live based on the expectations of others, for sure! (and that’s something I wrote about today)
@La Chat Noir
Yay to morale boosts! Glad to help!
@John
Good for you for turning off the negative – once that groove is created in the mind, it’s a real challenge to create a new more positive one. I too have troubles sleeping at times when I start overloading my brain with too many details, but then I just starting thinking about one thing – the next step only – and I’m able to relax.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post..7 Ways to Rediscover Your Dreams
Nice straightforward advice. Well times for me too – I am just now getting very into the concept of “Flow,” a a couple of the items on your list really come down to focusing awareness and intention. I am great at applying that in some areas of my life – the trick, of course, is applying it in all (or at least most) areas!
Your article will serve as a good reminder. Thanks!
Avish
@Avish
Glad I could help get the hang of flowing. I wrote the list primarily as a reminder for myself!
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post..The Right Kind of Action
Hey Alex, I really appreciate you sharing such a great post with this community. I loved the clarity of your points! Eric
Very nice post Alex.
I think the most important thing to do is plan. It’s amazing how many people just move through life aimlessly. Even having a simple goal of something to achieve, and then creating 10 small, yet simple steps to get there can be life-changing. But there are those who think about planning, and those who do it…and that makes all the difference in the world to living your dreams.
Thanks again!
Dayne
Dayne | TheHappySelf.com’s last blog post..How to Be a Human Being
@Eric
Thanks for having me here on the blog – I appreciate the opportunity to share.
@Dayne
The plan is totally important – and I like your limit of ten things because people can easily get stuck in planning and then nothing actually gets done.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post..It’s a Journey Not a Destination: Goddess Leonie Interview
With regard to #2 – as we can all get caught in the trap of focussing on what it is that we don’t want – if we can catch ourselves in that moment, and then ask the question”so what is it that I do want?” – this can help us keep focussed on the positive outcome. Developing this habit can be indeed useful.
@Dave
I ask myself that question all the time. Whenever something comes up that might take me in a new direction, I ask: What do I really want? and that leads me directly to the answer as to whether I should follow the new path or not.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post..Not Getting Started: Introducing (the rest of) the New Lab Rats
Great article. As a personal finance planner, I deal with people’s dreams all the time. They feel like they need to “suffer” for many years before they can actually start living their dreams.
What I like about this article, is that it seeks to find a balance between future goals and a person’s present well being.
@Benjamin
Thanks! I agree that you don’t need to suffer. Here I am about to take a weeklong vacation on the beach even though I’m a new business – because I’ve planned for it so that I can keep myself well balanced. (no vacation makes Alex VERY cranky).