You hear them all the time. The two extremes of a very important issue. On the one hand you have those preaching constant hard work and never letting up. On the other hand you have those promoting simplicity and cutting back. So which is it?
Riding the roller coaster of extremes
It is very easy for us to end up going back and forth between both concepts. One day you find yourself passionately motivated to attack your goals and you think to yourself, “This is the way to live your life. I WILL reach my goals and it will be because of my constant drive for success.” Over time, you may become tired and suffer from a loss of that passion that once fueled your drive. Then you remember those who kept saying, “Live for now and stop chasing after your dreams. Simplify your life and appreciate what you already have.”
At this point, these words are like a mother’s embrace. You feel the comfort rushing in as you finally give yourself permission to stop chasing and start enjoying right now. You’re content!
Oh wait, you have to get up tomorrow and go to that job that you really don’t like. You asked off, but your boss refused to allow it. You had been working on some business ideas to try and gain some freedom from your current work situation. You’re trying to live in the moment, but once you get home from a long day at work the only thing you want to do ‘in the moment’ is sit and watch TV. It feels like you’re doomed either way.
The fact of the matter is, most people need to push themselves, at least some of the time, so that they may be able to make those positive life upgrades. It is a rare occurrence for someone to just fall into their ideal lifestyle. You have to work for it. But on the flip side, we all too often find ourselves consumed by our destination and end up missing out on the journey.
I find myself going back and forth between these two extremes. You have the ‘always on the go’ business man on the one hand and the guy camping out on the beach on the other. Both of these philosophies have their place, but finding the right balance between the two is the challenge.
Learn to clock out
The best thing I have found to allow for the pursuit of positive changes along with the enjoyment of my current situation is to CLOCK OUT. One of the things that I actually miss about working a J-O-B is the ability to clock out at the end of the day. Once that was accomplished I was DONE. I was completely free from the responsibility and pressures of my job and could go home, relax and enjoy myself.
But with your own business or if you are just working toward future goals, it is easy to never let yourself be ‘off the clock’. Over time you start to burn out. Your passion dissolves and you lose your effectiveness. It’s like the saying goes, “All sun and no rain make a desert.”
I think one of the things that makes it hard for some of us to enjoy the moment, is the worry that we are missing out on some opportunity. That maybe, in those brief moments of letting our guard down, we will miss our chance for success. But the bottom line is that there will always be more that we ‘could have done’ so it is a waste of time to worry about what we didn’t do. As long as we are passionately pursuing our goals when we are ‘on the clock’ we can let ourselves go after we clock out and just BE! And the great thing is, when we clock back in we will find ourselves to be more refreshed, focused and effective as we pick up the pace once again.
Which end of the spectrum are you on?
Do you find yourself struggling to slow down? Do you feel you are missing out on opportunities as you ‘take it easy’? Or have you found ways to sustain the balance needed to stop and smell the roses while you passionately pursue your goals?
“Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.” ~ Robet Fulghum
Great article. For 16 years I was in the rat race. Constantly working a JOB and never able to clock out. It was brutal. Now I have a regular JOB that allows me to clock out and forget about it until the next morning. After I left the first job it took me over a year to actually slow down and smell the flowers. Now that I have it’s wonderful.
@Bryan: Do you mind sharing what the different jobs were? What did you do that never let you clock out and what do you do now?
The challenge I find with “clocking out” is to know when and for how long. Since I work a full time job while pursuing various side-gigs (like my blog and business) it’s hard to know how to juggle everything.
For a while, I would work on my side jobs on weeknights and keep my weekends free for relaxation. But that proved to be very unproductive, because after work I’d be too tired to concentrate on things well.
So I tried the opposite, working on the weekend and keeping my weekdays free to unwind and relax. But that turned out to be a 7-day workweek which is no good either! (Somewhere Tim Ferriss is cringing)
So, I’m still trying to find a balance. Right now I’m feeling as though the best thing for me to do is not have so many “side” jobs going at once. Concentrate on one for a week or so, and then put that one away and concentrate on another one for a week or so.
Or maybe I just need to look into cloning
@Matt: “…the best thing for me to do is not have so many “side” jobs going at once.”
I’ve found this to be the case with this blog. When I started blogging I had all these ideas for blogs and started putting up another blog every week (at least it felt that way). But I realized that, for me at least, focusing on “Motivate Thyself” as my sole blog allowed me to really enjoy it more and put out the best quality possible. If I were trying to do this blog, plus a few others, they would all suffer.
I’m not trying to say that you can’t have multiple blogs and put out quality with each one, but I find that, as you pointed out, single tasking often times creates the best ‘product’ and allows for sanity at the same time.
Hey Eric, same here too. I used to own a few blogs but realized that it was tough to keep all of them going, without sacrificing quality and time. I also came to the conclusion that it is best to focus on one blog, get it going successfully first before moving on to something new.
Thanks for sharing another great article! It is true that it is important to strike a good life balance.
@Evelyn Lim: I think that single blog ownership early on is definitely the way to go.
“get it going successfully first before moving on to something new. ”
I think this is great advice for any new blogger. Having one blog is like have a single child. You can focus all your attention on it and help it be the best it can be. Once it’s matured to a certain point you can then consider ‘having another one’.
Eric:
I think you can have simplicity and strive for success at the same time. I guess that depends on your perception of both.
I’ve also been the business owner (24/7) and currently the employee. Again there are pros and cons to both.
I think there’s also a time dimension to this struggle depending on the stage of life. Don’t forget that it’s a blessing to be able to deal with this struggle. In many countries, the main worry is what should we eat today…
@BloggerNewbie: You’re certainly right that you can have both. That’s the main point of the post, to promote a balance between the two. I think, though, just like a pendulum, it can be hard not to go too far in either direction. You have to constantly re-adjust to find the right balance and maintain it.
Just curious, what kind of business did you own, what do you do now, and which do you prefer and why? I know, that’s a mouthful.
I just like to hear people’s stories about their business/job experiences and what they’ve found that works best for them.
@legacy daily: “I think there’s also a time dimension to this struggle depending on the stage of life. ”
There certainly is and it’s up to the individual to find the right balance that suits their particular circumstances.
“Don’t forget that it’s a blessing to be able to deal with this struggle. In many countries, the main worry is what should we eat today…”
Very true. It’s so easy for those of us who have been blessed with freedom and much more than a roof over our heads, to lose perspective.
Eric:
I owned a property & casualty insurance agency. I sold it 4 yrs ago and I now work for a law firm. BIG difference – in all areas; work load, freedom, financial; accomplishments.
I definitely made more money before, but I worked more – no such thing as 5:00 o’clock, I had more freedom, so to speak, I could play golf on a nice afternoon, I could also work till midnight, different trade offs, I would like to take the good from both and combine them into one…
@BloggerNewbie: “I would like to take the good from both and combine them into one…”
I’m with you here. I think this is what all business owners strive for. It usually takes a long time and a lot of hard work to get your business to this point. And even then you may never reach this ‘best of both worlds’ scenarios.
I reach this balance with my business at certain times of the year, but never for more than a few months at a time. The rest of the year I am either too busy or too slow.
The only way I could see going back to working for someone else would be if it were something I REALLY enjoyed and couldn’t do on my own. But I do miss two things:
1: Clocking out (which I am getting better at doing with my business).
2: Comradery with other employees. It’s nice to be able to have someone to vent to when you have an irate customer/client. You feel more a part of a team, which is nice.
So they both have their selling points.
Hi Eric,
I love this paragraph, “At this point, these words are like a mother’s embrace. You feel the comfort rushing in as you finally give yourself permission to stop chasing and start enjoying right now. You’re content!” Contentment in life is SO important.
Being self employed, I hear you. It’s not always easy to “clock out”, but it is something we need to do, to a degree. It’s when we don’t take time for ourselves, we can often start regretting our decision to start a business and that “attitude” will be reflected in our daily dealings.
Both jobs and businesses have advantages. We just need decide which lifestyle we like better.
@Barbara: “It’s when we don’t take time for ourselves, we can often start regretting our decision to start a business and that “attitude” will be reflected in our daily dealings.”
Exactly! It’s when we stop taking care of ourselves and enjoying life that we can lose our passion for any endeavor.
@Eric: My previous job was an Officer in the military. I was always on-call and had to be available to all times to resolve problems. That’s the short of it. I could go into a lot more detail but will spare you. I now work for a great company as a cost analyst and construction scheduler.
Hey Eric,
I love the idea of “clocking out” if you’re self-employed. Awesome blog post and writing style. There is no other way than to purse a goal with passion. If there’s no passion what’s the point of setting the goal.
I just posted an ah ha I had about “forcing success” – usually happens when you’re in the “work mode zone”.
Great stuff here. Keep it coming!
I appreciate you.
Dali Burgado
@Bryan: Sounds like you’ve got a much better gig now.
“cost analyst and construction scheduler”
Sounds like an interesting job.
@Dali Burgado: Thanks for stopping by. You’re definitely right about passion. Without it we are just drudging through life, but never really living.