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I’ve had my hands full over the last 3 months with a new baby boy, a new business and less sleep than I’d prefer.  I’ve been trying to keep up with all my ‘to-dos’ and not neglect any of the many avenues of online communication that I’ve been able to enjoy over the past year.  Unfortunately I’ve had to let my personal posts on this blog slip as well as my voice on Twitter and in the comments of my favorite blogs.  I call myself a blogger and yet I’ve done very little in the way of actual blogging.

About a week ago Liz and I began to talk about the fact that my home office had served its purpose to allow me to help out while Tyson was getting past those first few months of infancy, but that it was no longer a benefit, but a hindrance to both of us.  For me, dealing with two hyperactive dogs and a baby while trying to run multiple businesses was not working out.  My focus was constantly in a diluted state and seemed to be stuck on a reboot loop.

For Liz, it was the fact that my constant presence in our home hindered her ability to get into a solid routine.  She felt that if I wasn’t there she would be forced to get things done instead of asking for my assistance throughout the day.  She wanted to have the house to herself during the day so she could take care of her responsibilities with zero distraction from my comings and goings.

Basically, we needed to have our own space and time apart.  So renting some office space seemed to be the logical next step.

Natural Light

So I popped online and found a few vacancies in an office building just 2 minutes from our house.  It was a building I was familiar with as I had setup some computer equipment in one of the very offices I was going to possibly rent.  So I popped over there for a tour and found two possibilities.  Both were about 100 square feet but one had a window and the other did not.  Though a bit cheaper, the one without the window felt like a fluorescently lit cave, while the other required no light other than the natural sunlight that came through the large window.  The latter option was a no-brainer.

So I quickly signed the lease and started moving in ASAP.  It was quite obvious to me that this was going to be one of the best business moves I’ve made in quite some time.

Uninterrupted BLISS!!

It’s amazing to me how much more clear your thoughts are and how much more you can get done when uninterrupted space is provided.  For someone who is riddled with ADHD I found my productivity at home to be atrocious.  Even when I did have some quiet time I could never quite shake that largely distracting anticipation that Tyson may pipe up at any moment or the dogs may decide to alert us that a squirrel was making its way across our back yard.  It’s only now that I sit in my new office space, disconnected from any and all unforeseen distractions, that I can calmly type out this post, knowing it will get done and be checked off my list.

I can’t stress enough how important this move has been, even after only a few hours of test drive.  Kind of like love at first sight, you need nothing more than the first wiff to understand the future affect of its presence in your life.  I have no doubt that my future days will be filled with greater strides and an overall more effective focus.  Now it’s just a matter of learning how Liz’s day went.

Eric

Starting fresh can allow for quick success as we hit the bullseye with our clear view of the target.  But as our momentum builds we find that our vision starts to blur and our aim becomes questionable.  We spread ourselves thin and then wonder why the shimmer of our success starts to fade.

I’m going to use the example of this vary blog to paint a picture for this post.  I’m going to be completely open with you as I talk about my journey at “Motivate Thyself” in the hopes that my points are well absorbed and as helpful as they possibly can be.  This post talks about a blog and blogging, but the premise is applicable to every individual.  So let’s get started…

When I first started “Motivate Thyself” I was a brand new blogger and though I showed my ‘greenness’, I was full of passion and positive energy (a great combination for a motivational blogger).  The first month was spent in hyperdrive, waking up at 4:30am every morning to crank out another passionate post.  I also began my campaign of a commenting frenzy.  I spent a lot of time over at zenhabits, taking in advise, sharing my own and hoping that others would notice me.  Some did, but soon enough it was Leo that came my way.

By month two I was already dropping my first guest post on zenhabits and gained a HUGE flow of traffic (my server went down a few times that day) and a few hundred new readers.  ON THAT NOTE: my two guest posts on zenhabits have accounted for about half of my 600 or so subscribers.  Seriously!  Take away those two guest posts and my subscriber numbers may only be around 300.  Not to say that I didn’t earn them, but I certainly had some help.  Anyway, back to my story…

So I’m in month three, I have hundreds of subscribers and I’m working my system.  It was pretty simple:

1. Write powerful posts.
2. Comment like crazy.
3. Seek out more guest post opportunities.
4. Write powerful posts.

I’m not telling you this as a 4 step process for better blogging or anything.  I’m just laying out the scene.

By month 4 I really start receiving notice from other bloggers.  My name is getting around and I start getting requests for guest post opportunities.  It’s like I all of a sudden became a somebody blogger when I had just gotten used to being a nobody blogger.  So I was pretty excited and felt proud of myself.  You know, the whole self pat on the back kind of thing.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel I was being cocky or anything.  Just excited about my itty bitty success.

Then came collaboration and growth and new ideas and taking on 10 projects all at the same time.  Toward the end of the year I felt like my head would never stop spinning from the tasks I was trying to keep up with.  Blogging was becoming a chore and things like quality and clarity were taking a hit.  I did my best to keep up with everything and looking back I think I did OK.  Some things have panned out and some have not, but I’ve learned so much that it’s all been worth it.

So recently I started taking another look at “Motivate Thyself” and felt somewhat disappointed.  I know I haven’t put into it nearly as much as I used to (I haven’t had the time), but I’m not the type to settle for so-so.  Here was my recent assessment:

• Comments are WAY down. I used to get 15 to 20 every day and now I’m lucky to hit 10.
• My subscriber numbers are crawling along. For a while I was seeing a steady rise, but now it’s barely more than stagnant.
• Content quality is hit or miss. When I have the time, energy and inspiration I can publish the kind of post I feel really good about.  The other week I decided to take on the topic of, “How to motivate yourself” and laid out what I believe was solid advice and articulation.  Right before that I answered the question, “What career is right for me?“  Another piece I felt happy to publish.  But then I’ll have weeks that I just can’t seem to make it work.  My heart’s not in it and I press publish out of obligation (a TERRIBLE thing in my opinion, but quite normal for the battered blogger).

Like everyone else I’ve been super busy and barely have time to blog, let alone do it well.  But one thing I know for sure, I’ve been stretching myself in WAY too many different directions and my initial pinpoint focus has turned into a dull nub (whatever that is? )

OK, so let me cut to the chase.  This isn’t a pity party or a claim for future success or anything like that.  Life’s been complicated lately and I’ve done what I can.  I’m actually quite satisfied with the fact that I’ve hung in there as that’s not always my personality to do so.  But what this IS, is a picture that I wanted to paint to point out this very common mistake many of us make:

We seek success by honing our skills with precision.  We then gain success from this vary act.  But then we somehow act as if our recipe for success has changed and we try ten OTHER things in hopes for ‘THE NEXT BIG THING’.  Then our progress begins to atrophy, leaving us bewildered.  It’s like we stopped watering our plants, watch them wilt and then wonder what happened.

The point is this: When you find what works, continue to hone that solution, not re-invent it.  And when you find you’ve outrun your success and are waffling with confusion to where your ‘traffic’ went (using the blogging analogy), go back to your notes.  You know, the ones you made when you first found success.  Re-read your recipe and follow it to the letter.

I hope this post wasn’t too ‘all over the place’ for you.  I’m kind of feeling a little RAW so my words are a bit unrefined right now.  But I hope I was open enough to touch on something you may be struggling with.  Maybe you’re in a similar place and can relate or maybe you’ve ‘been there, done that’ and can now see things from the other side.

For a somewhat similar read, but different time and place, you can check out THIS POST.

Eric

How to NATURALLY keep yourself stimulated.

Getting stimulated (excited and focused) about specific things has always been easy for me.  Like I said yesterday, in the right environment, anyone can be stimulated.  Playing a video game is a perfect example of an activity that gave me instant excitement.  You have action and problem solving, interactive cartoons and so on.  A video game gives someone with ADHD the kind of quick bursts of random focus that keeps us on our toes.  But the challenge is to obtain that kind of focus while doing much less stimulating activities.

I also mentioned in yesterday’s post how I ended my high school experience on a positive note.  I was actually able to get my school work done and do quite well in the process.  So what was different about my situation that would enable this change?  To start, I was living a MUCH healthier lifestyle. Not only had I stopped using drugs (the normal blend of high school rebellion), but I had started exercising and eating healthy foods. (Read about the effects of sugar on ADHD.)  This alone allowed my brain to process life in a much stronger, clearer way.  By itself, this was a good first step, but not enough to ‘fix’ the problem.

There were 3 other habits I needed to acquire:

1. How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time. Don’t look at the whole project/task, just look at what needs to be done FIRST.  Get THAT done and then look at step 2.  Each step you accomplish will give you that much more motivation to tackle the next.  Next thing you know you’ve eaten the whole elephant and are ready for your next meal.  (Don’t get me wrong, I love elephants. )
2. Look forward to dessert while eating your brussel sprouts. I found that having a reward (carrot at the end of the stick) I could push through the boredom and still maintain a clear focus.  This ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ gave me a kind of natural stimulation to scratch my itch.  Without it, my focus would be constantly interrupted by that nagging ADHD uneasiness.  Just be sure the reward is healthy in its own right.  You don’t want to create a new NEED, but give yourself some simple rewards to look forward to.
3. Do what you love! Of course you will be stimulated while doing something that you naturally find interesting and are passionate about, but not everything is this way.  I’ve found that many of the less interesting tasks in life can be done in many different ways.  Try to tackle your goals as well as your daily to-dos in ways that tickle your tastes.  The closer you can get to doing the things you love and enjoy, the less problems you’ll have with ADHD.  I know this sounds silly in it’s simplistic demeanor, but I see far too many folks spending their time tapping away at their tasks with little satisfaction to show.  We not only need to be mindful of WHAT we do, but how we do it.  Adjust your daily dose of ritual to fit your personality and you will find that your focus as well as your drive will strengthen on their own.

As adults we have much greater freedom and flexibility with our schedules and daily routines.  We’re not stuck in a classroom, forced to feed on the voicings of a teacher.  Because of this we can find what works and stick with it.  I spoke with Leo about this a few months ago.  I asked him why he wrote so many list posts on zenhabits.  He basically said that it’s just the way he thinks.  That by taking little bites at a time he was able to tackle a large post with ease.  No one was forcing him to write a certain way, so he just found what worked and made it work FOR him.  We can all do this in every aspect of our lives.  Try many ways of tackling the same task and then stick with what works.  Think outside the box and be creative.  You’ll be amazed at how much more you’ll get done when it is done in the way that is right for YOU.

So what is this DANGER I’m talking about?

Well, often times, those with ADHD will scratch their itch with distraction.  Let’s take blogging for instance.  When I am creating a blog post and find myself at a less stimulating part of the process, I have a tendency to start checking email, stats, or whatever will give me a quick boost of stimulation.  Then I’ll come back to the blog post to continue the task.  Basically, when my stimulation levels dip low enough I feel fidgety and uneasy.  So I’m driven to look for a way to scratch the itch.

This can actually be a good thing if managed properly.  Sometimes we need a break and a small boost is just what the doctor ordered.  But the danger comes when we repeat this process over and over in a short period of time.  Or when the distraction takes up large chunks of time.  I’ll find myself taking a ‘break’ and checking out YouTube.  30 minutes later I’m watching some guy on roller blades jumping a fence and landing on his groin.  You get the point.

So just be careful when you find yourself seeking a form of scratching that doesn’t involve the task at hand.  Those of us with ADHD are prone to distraction, but this doesn’t mean we have to let this disorder keep us from getting things done.  Sure, self discipline is a must, but if we don’t know exactly WHAT we are dealing with, we can’t expect to make positive progress.  My hope is that these two posts have helped clarify some things that you can now use to get more done and waste less time.  Oh, and enjoy those not so entertaining tasks as well.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Be sure to check out The Blueprint as Sean and I ‘Pre Launch’ our Blogging Kit!

We all know ADHD as the disorder of distraction.  That issue with the brain that makes it hard to focus or at least stay focused.  Kids these days are medicated out the wazoo for it and even adults are starting to take drugs to stifle this unproductive side effect.  But what IS ADHD exactly?  And more importantly, how does someone struggling with this disorder deal with it?  In this two part post I plan to answer these questions as I share my own struggles with these four letters of the alphabet.

Daydreaming in the classroom.

If we could go back in time to when I was in 5th grade and watch me as I sit at my desk while the teacher spoke in front of the room, you would see a red haired little boy staring out the window, dreaming of everything EXCEPT the words coming out of the teacher’s mouth.  It was a classic situation for the teacher to ask me a question, knowing that he was just waking me up from a daydreaming session.  I’d have absolutely NO CLUE what the answer was as I had been a million miles away until that very moment.

I was pegged as a daydreamer or just plain lazy.  I didn’t seem to care about school as I never paid attention in class.  And yet when I got home I would spend hours working on my own ‘projects’ that involved all kinds of thinking and learning.  So apparently I was just hell bent on going against the system.

By the time I reached high school I was so far behind in my understanding of the current curriculum that my 10th grade failure was an inevitability.  I blamed this on my drug use, but the fact was, that alone was my escape from the burdens of being behind.  I figured, “What the heck, I’m failing anyway.  I might as well go out with a BANG!”

By the grace of God, I eventually did a 180 and finished my 5 years in high school on a positive note, but not without the scars to prove my past struggles.  I always said that school just wasn’t for me, but later realized that it wasn’t the school OR me, but that ADHD ‘itch’ that I had never learned to properly scratch.

What is ADHD?

You can read about this subject all day long and never hear exactly the same thing twice.  It is still something the scientists and doctors are grappling with, but I can tell you what I believe it is based on extensive study as well as first hand experience.

The frontal lobe of our brain is where we get our personality and emotions.  We use it for problem solving, motor skills and so on.  When you have ADHD, your frontal lobe is not naturally as stimulated as someone without ADHD.  In other words, without something encouraging stimulation, a person with ADHD will be under stimulated in their frontal lobe.  When I say ‘encouraging stimulation’ I am talking about things like watching an exciting movie or playing a fun video game and so on.  This is why a person with ADHD will seem totally fine when put in the right environment.  But sit them down in a boring class room or business meeting and watch them squirm as they can’t seem to scratch that itch.

What’s this whole ITCH thing?

Think about the last time you had a bug bite.  It starts to itch and so you scratch the effected area for temporary relief.  If anything, it actually feels GOOD while your scratching it.  Now let’s say you started to feel it itch and yet you were tied down, completely unable to access and therefore scratch the itching area.  Could you, in that very moment, focus all of your attention on something else?  Especially something that didn’t directly interest you?  Well this is precisely what it feels like for someone with ADHD to sit in a class room while trying to learn a subject that doesn’t interest them.

Tapping your feet.

One common attribute of someone with ADHD is being fidgety.  I tap my feet all the time.  But why do I do this?  Is it because I’m nervous?  No, just bored.  Recently I read an article that cleared this mystery up for me.  Basically, when you tap your foot or any part of your body for that matter, you are in essence, scratching your frontal lobe.  You are actually stimulating your frontal lobe which gives you temporary relief from the itch that you would otherwise feel.  Stop tapping and you instantly feel that uneasy feeling come rushing back.

Being in the right environment.

When I was 17 I was professionally tested for the presence of a learning disability.  I had been struggling in school and my mom was hoping to find some answers as to why.  So I spent an entire morning, one on one with the ‘tester’.  She started out asking me questions about school and home and my hobbies, etc…  Then we moved on to some fun, simple tests.  Some were puzzles and some were written.  Some were even games that I quite enjoyed.  By the end of the process the women created a report that basically said, “Your son is very intelligent, quite focused and has no learning disabilities what so ever.”

Looking back on this I can’t help but laugh.  Are you kidding me?!  Of course I was focused!  I was sitting there, one on one with a person that wanted to play games with me.  They were quick and it consisted of jumping around to different tasks.  This is a PERFECT learning environment for someone with ADHD.  If anything, you might find it to be TOO MUCH for someone WITHOUT ADHD.  See, we attention deficiters excel at multitasking.  Give us one thing to do and we struggle.  Give us 5 things to do in the SAME AMOUNT OF TIME and we excel.

How to deal with ADHD.

OK, so you’ve got the itch and you want to learn how to scratch it in a productive way.  Do you start taking drugs for this or is there a way to self medicate that is effective without causing other issues in the process?  The answer is a simple, IT DEPENDS.

Many adults excel with the right medication.  Liz, for example, has been taking Adderall since she was in college.  Especially since they came out with the timed release version, did she really start becoming more productive with her daily tasks.  (She currently doesn’t take it because of her pregnancy, but plans on getting back on it as soon as she can.)  She would take it first thing in the morning and within an hour it was as if someone turned the light switch on in her head.  The entire day she could focus and accomplish anything she set out to do.  For her, it’s been a wonderful thing.

I, on the other hand, tried taking Ritalin for a time and found it to be an interesting experience to say the least.  It truly helped me focus, but to the extreme.  I actually found that I lost my multitasking abilities and easily felt overwhelmed.  I could sit for hours working on one particular task without any issue at all.  Before, maintaining a similar state of focus would only last 20 minutes, TOPS.  But the combination of the evening CRASH (coming off of the medication) combined with the single focused mindset, led me to quickly stop taking the drug.  I decided that I would self medicate by keeping myself stimulated naturally (I’ll speak about this in tomorrow’s post).

Until tomorrow…

Tomorrow I will continue this discussion with part 2.  I will share some tips on how to naturally stay focused and talk about the dangers of ‘scratch’n the itch with distraction’.  I’ll see you then!

As a computer consultant I am constantly bombarded with phone calls and emails that are all pining for my complete and utter attention.  Many of these end up being requests for an on-site repair of some kind.  This, of course, forces me to drop whatever I’m doing and not only physically leave the situation, but mentally as well.  This is what I call a complete ‘focus reboot’.

The idea behind the ‘focus reboot’.

I’m not claiming this concept to be my own or even something new.  This is just my take on it.

Just like a computer booting up, when we first focus our minds on a particular situation/topic/concept, we are essentially loading all the necessary software required to properly process the situation.  And also like a computer that is fully booted, when we are fully focused on something, as long as we stay that way, we are quite efficient with our thoughts.

When a distraction comes into the situation, it’s like multitasking on your computer.  You’re still able to process both the old and new topic, but they are both slower than if you were to stick with just one subject.  But, and here’s the BIG BUT, when something comes into your line of thought that completely takes you away from your focus, you are essentially rebooting your mind.  You are shutting down the current thoughts and the going through the whole boot process ALL OVER AGAIN.

This is what happens to me, day in and day out as an on-site tech.  But what I’ve found to be amazingly helpful is to be more intentional with my time and not let others dictate my attention.  I used to answer every phone call and go to every job when THE CLIENT told me to.  What this meant was that my days were filled with reboot after reboot.  I always felt overwhelmed as my focus was pulled in many different directions.  There was never enough time to fully boot up.

I’ve recently made some changes that have really helped.

• For one, I have stopped answering all my calls. The phone is one of the worst ‘squeaky wheels’ when it comes to distracting your attention.  I now let it go to voice mail and then screen the calls from there.  Sometimes it’s someone trying to waste my time and then I’m cheering for this new tactic.  Other times it’s a call that needs attention, but not urgently.  And then there are the true emergencies that I can quickly call back and never miss a beat for the client.  What this does is give ME back the control when it comes to my focus and attention.
• I’ve also stopped letting my client’s schedule completely dictate mine. I’m not saying I don’t try to remain flexible and setup something that is convenient for them (I mean, these our my paying customers.  I’m not crazy.)  But I have scheduling needs too and I’m not just talking about specific appointments that were previously on the books.  I’m talking about those chunks of time that I set aside to get other things done or start on a new project or whatever.  We need to make sure that the other, not as squeaky wheels, get attention too.  They need some sticky places on your schedule just as much as the others.
• Monday is now my ‘get ready for the rest of the week’ day. I now use Monday to work on the less squeaky stuff as well as prepare for the appointments and tasks I have lined up for the rest of the week.  I still take calls, but as far as Monday goes, I’m all booked up.  This gives me a solid sense of security for that particular day.  A kind of comfort zone that allows me to breathe without worry of interruption.  Since I’ve been doing this I’ve found my efficiency and effectiveness to be much greater on the other 4 days of work.

The main point is that, though we can’t help but reboot our focus periodically throughout the day, most of us do so MUCH MORE frequently than we need to and/or can afford.

Every time we feel we HAVE to answer the phone and then get sucked into a call that was unnecessary for that particular moment, we are rebooting our focus.  And when we are at the mercy of everyone else’s schedule, we completely lose control over our ability to sustain a thought to it’s completion.

(This is the last computer analogy, I promise! )

Think about trying to write a 10 page article in Word, but with the requirement of rebooting your computer every 5 minutes.  Do you think you would lose your train of thought?  Would your flow of ideas be hindered in any way?

This may sound ridiculous, but that’s exactly how I felt when I spent day after day being jerked in 10 directions at once.  It takes time for our minds to gather themselves to a point of precise focus.  And it is just this kind of concentration that we need to do our best work.  And yet we allow ourselves to stay in a constant state of limbo as we let the world hit our reset buttons time and time again.

So I’m not suggesting we can stop the chaos of the world.  Just that we don’t have to ride this roller coaster every time it comes around.

The answers to these questions will reveal how strong your foundation really is.  If our security is based on money or a particular job than we are at the mercy of so much that we can’t control.  Our foundation needs to be strong enough to get us through the storms of life.  Whether we loose our job or go bankrupt we need to be unshakable if we are to survive this life with our head above water.

This may sound odd to some but it is true none the less.  To truly be free is to rely on things that cannot be broken or taken away.  As much as I seek worldly success and pursue things like financial independence, I know that I will never gain the kind of success that really matters if I am not true to myself.  My foundation is in God alone as much as I try to stray from this truth.  My Christian faith defines who I am and paints the picture of who I want to become.

No matter what your faith is in, if it cannot endure the “Perfect Storm” of life than your foundation will be broken and you will fall.  If you really want to gain your freedom, pursue your goals and reach your dreams in this life, you must first have a foundation that you can stand on.  One that you can rely on.  Because without this you are already dead in the water.

So I would encourage you to really look inside yourself and see what your foundation is made of.  If it is built of things that can be broken or taken away than you need to look for another place to stand.  Many may succeed at one point or another but those with a strong foundation will survive the test of time.

If this is all true than why do we tend to seek other people’s opinions when it comes to deciding our future?  I would guess things like assurance, acceptance, guidance, etc…  But there is a danger in this.  By doing this we run the risk of living our lives the way that works best for someone else.  The fact of the matter is that other people’s opinions are tainted by their own vision and understanding of life.  What might be best for them my not be best for you.  So their advise, though possibly wise and well intentioned, is being formed by the wrong perception.  They are unaware of too many variables to be able to come to the accurate conclusion that only you are capable of.

Let me give an example of this.  5 years ago I started my technology consulting business.  Before that time I was jumping from job to job.  I was unhappy and unsatisfied and knew that I couldn’t sustain that kind of life much longer.  I knew something had to change.  One day the door just opened to the opportunity of having my own business and doing something I enjoy.  There were risks involved but what in life, that’s worth anything, doesn’t involve some form of risk?  But in the process I felt the need to ask other people’s opinions.  I felt that I needed assurance and approval.  Surprisingly, to me, many were apposed and felt that I was making big mistake.  The idea of working my way “up the ladder” was more popular amongst the opinions than pursuing something that would take my life to a whole new level.  People even went as far as to gossip about how quickly my business would fail.  Not only were these people unaware of my capabilities but, more importantly, they were unaware of my drive and determination to succeed.  If I had listened to the popular opinion at the time I would still be doing some kind of job that I was unhappy with and tied down to.  5 years later I am a MUCH happier person.  One that is living his life according to the guidance of his own heart and not the “advise” of others.

If you were to ask some of the most successful entrepreneurs whether or not others supported their pursuits in the beginning, I have a feeling many of them would look at you and laugh.  Most people don’t achieve “Great Things” in their life.  The average person is “Average” for a reason.  And for most, this is just fine.  It’s more comfortable and easy to manage.  To the average person, seeing your vision of your own future is impossible.  So they will, of course, try to turn you from something that they don’t even recognize to something that makes sense to them; living an average life.

So my advise to all those who seek great things in life is this.  Take other people’s opinions with a grain of salt.  They may have more life experience than you but they will never have more of your life experience than you.  Trust your instincts and never let anyone stop you from doing what YOU feel is best for YOU.  This may sound selfish to some but if you are living your life by any other standards than your own, you will be doing a disservice to all.