The last few weeks have been a little less than insane as I’ve been bombarded with all kinds of different life experiences and seeming to only have 23 hours a day to do it all.  I’ve enjoyed the steady flow of traffic from zenhabits as I’ve been promoting my different online ventures with Leo’s awesome blog.  I’ve been trying to maintain a level of quality with my blog posts that has kept me from just taking a quick break and tapping out an average message.  This has kept my post count quite low, but I think it’s worth it to keep my homepage packed with, as Leo calls them, ‘High Impact Posts’.  And finally, Liz birthed us a little baby boy on Tuesday, the 19th of this month.  That event shook things up well beyond normal and just past insane!

First, Let’s Talk Baby

OK, so the baby stuff is what most of you want to hear about, or maybe I’m just most eager to share, but either way, he’s finally here and I’m finally a member of club dad.

At 5lb 15oz’s little Tyson really lived up to his LT name.  He’s actually 20 inches long so he’s no shrimp, but he’s got my thin bone structure that makes people wrap their hands around your skinny wrists and say, “DUDE, I could like wrap my fingers around like three of your wrists!”  (Once they realize I don’t have three wrists, I’m already gone…but enough about. me )

Labor was quite intense to say the least.  Liz started having contractions at about 10:30pm Monday night, but they weren’t past the, “Wow, I think I just had a contraction?” stage until about 1 or 2 am.  By 3:30am she was starting to panic a bit, saying she wasn’t sure about the fact that we were still at home.  By 3:45am we were waiting for the Dr. to call back and running around the house in a controlled panic (if there is such a thing).

We arrived at the hospital by 4:30am and Liz had the wonderful pleasure of screaming all the way up the elevator.  OK, so she held it in pretty well, but the poor thing was hollering on the inside, I could tell.  By the time we got to our room, she was in the bathroom hollering on the outside.

The Dr. came in to check on her and could tell by the noise that she was definitely in full labor.  So we spent the next few hours laboring in different places, from the tub, to the oddly shaped bed to the birthing ball.  Refusing the epidural, Liz was left with a few shots of Fentanyl to take the edge off.  This got her through a bit more of the birthing pains, but by 6am she was pretty spent.

She laid in her bed while the Dr. came into tell her, “Your 6 centimeters.  If you plan on having and epidural, now is the cutoff time.”  Liz, being beaten down by the intense contractions, started to question her resolve.  She wasn’t sure if she could take much more of the pain without some kind of relief, but because we had spent a lot of time over the past month talking about the subject, I encouraged her to stick it out (women reading this, please don’t punch me through your computer screen.  I promise she was glad I did. )

I knew it was her spirit that was most badly beaten so I got her to stand up and do the slow dance I like to call ‘the 8 centimeter Waltz’.  For the next 2 hours we rocked back and forth, her head on my shoulder, working through each contraction.  Our focus was to forget the past, relax in the present and not worry about the future.  Without this, she would be in constant stress over everything that had happened, was happening and was about to happen (kind of like life, you know).

By 8am Liz told the nurse that she felt like the baby was much further down, as if he might drop out.  So she checked her and sure enough she was 10 centimeters and ready to push.

Liz later said that the pushing was an amazingly empowering process.  That it was the part of the labor where she had some form of control.  Finally she was able to do something with the contractions, not just bare them.

The time between the first push and Tyson’s first little cry was only about 45 minutes.  Being right there to see the whole thing (heck, I held her left leg for each push), I was blown away at the amazing process that takes place to bring a baby into the world.  And when he found his way onto Liz’s chest for the first time, we looked at each other with an amazement and joy that seemed to erase the past 10 hours of pain and uncertainty.

We had a son, he had a full head of dark brown hair and…we had a son!

Everything is going great and we’re loving every minute of it!  OK, so there have been a few hiccups here and there and we’re not quite enjoying the sleep routine that we once had (though it’s Liz that is baring the brunt of that burden…I can’t work if I can’t keep my eyes open…once again ladies, please don’t hurt me…)  Seriously, Liz is loving every minute of motherhood.  And speaking of mothers, hers has been in town for the last week helping us with everything from meals to shopping to feeding to just giving her motherly moral support.  Mother-In-Laws get a bad wrap, but mine is nothing short of amazing!

OK, Now Let’s Get Down To Business

I just wanted to update you on my latest biz banter, if you don’t mind.

I’ve had the wonderful privilege of renting a bit of prime advertising real estate on zenhabits for the last month and will be able to utilize it through the month of June as well.  Let me first say that I know few banner spots better on the Internet for reaching a rich audience of loyal blog followers.  Leo’s readers are some of the nicest, most valuable web surfers to grace the digits of my Google Analytics.  I’m not a sales pitch kind of guy and they’re not interested being pitched a sale.  I just get to share my products and services to a much larger audience and it’s been a real blessing to say the least.

Turning a product into a service and a service into a product.

My two online businesses, frugal Theme Dot Com and frugal Site Design, are a perfect match of product and service.  I’ve created a product, the frugal WordPress Theme and I use that particular theme to serve those who need a custom website.

I’ve been giving the frugal Theme away for free for the past few months now, but have recently created a Premium version that I sell, along with single and multi-use licences.  There’s still a free one available, but both the free and Premium versions have been updated with cleaner code and many enhancements.  And for those who just want it all done for them or who need a professionally customized version, they contact me over at frugal Site Design and hire me for the job.

By the way, for anyone interested, there’s a 40% payout for affiliates on all frugal products!  (I just had to throw that in. )

It’s been a great fit for me and seems to have been a good one for my clients as well.  So I couldn’t be happier about the venture and hope to take what I’ve learned and am continuing to learn about the unique challenges of online business and share them with my wonderful Motivate Thyself readers.

Finally, About Blogging

I know this isn’t a blog about blogging, but I figured I could sneak this in here and hope no one really notices.

I’ve really changed my blogging/writing style over the last 4 months or so as I’ve had less time and less desire to create ‘pretty good’ content.  I’ve dropped my 4 to 5 posts a week schedule and picked up a more ‘post when you’ve really got something worth sharing (and the time to effectively share it)’ kind of mindset.  I couldn’t get out of my head the idea that as a blogger who wants to regularly WOW his readers, I can’t afford to let my home page fill with mediocrity.  That words should not tap into the confines of my frugal Theme framework without first passing the test of personal passion for the piece in mind.

One of my fears when I first considered this shift was that I would lose a lot of my regular traffic.  I was afraid that my readers might come to think I had closed shop.  Yet I was pleasantly surprised to instead find a much greater influx of both regular readers and now and again traffic.  More of my content was being shared with the rest of the blogging community and I found a greater respect for the voice I was sharing.

This is not to say that every blog is meant for heavy hitting posts a few times a month.  Certainly the world of blogging would get quite boring if every place we landed tried to feed us a few thousand words in a sitting.  This is what I love about blogging and Internet content in general.  We can go from one place that gave us an inspiring snippet of encouragement, to another that teaches us an important new skill and then to yet another that makes us lol so hard that we can’t help but tweet about it.  It’s all essential stuff and all apart of a wonderfully complete blogging experience.

Final Thoughts

I guess what I’m finding as I’m typing these words, is that my time is limiting, but my experience is richening.  I’m working harder than ever, but on projects that matter to me and with new family members that constantly make me smile.

The Internet has been good to me.  It has allowed me to work at home and watch every minute of my sons first moments while assisting my wonderful wife as she cares for him.  It has brought the world to my fingertips and me to the world.  It has introduced me to an amazing community and allowed me to gain new friends and enjoy their loving support.

Thanks for taking these moments to catch up on my latest life experiences and I hope you maybe even took away a tip or two.  Either way, I just wanted to thank all who have been so supportive over these stressful and tiring weeks and just let you know that I won’t forget it.

’till my next post (or a little shoulder tap on Twitter )…

Eric

P.S. You’re always welcome to follow me on Twitter, but if you’re interested keeping up with Liz and her exciting new adventure, be sure to give her a follow as well.

What is value?

Let’s start with a simple definition.

Value = Relative worth, merit or importance.

So the value of a dollar is relative to what you can GET with it.  The value of a college education is relative to what you can DO with it.  Where does this leave an individual’s words?  Do we even put a value on a particular person’s thoughts?  The fact is, we do it every day without even knowing it.

Every time we ignore someone we reduce the value of their ideas and every time we listen, we increase it.  It’s human nature to gravitate our attention toward those we feel are worth the most to us.  Having someones attention is equivalent to a dollar bill receiving one dollar’s worth of goods in trade for itself.  Remove the receiving end of a thought and you might as well be playing with Monopoly money.

The value of a Tweet.

Twitter is an amazing barometer for value.  In a numbers driven society we are taught that more is always better, but Twitter helps clearly debunk this idea and shows us what really matters.

When someone tweets one of my posts, I may receive a bit of traffic as a result.  Depending on the tweeter, this traffic may barely hit my radar or it might open the flood gates of traffic and re-tweets (I apologize if you don’t know about Twitter, but all I can say is, “Remove head from sand…now open your eyes and enjoy the 21st century! )

You might initially think, “Sure, the tweeter that gave you all the traffic had a bunch of followers.”  This is not necessarily the case.  I see time and time again, tweeters who may only have a few thousand followers, yet command attention ten times more effectively than one with 50,000.  For some reason, this person has become so valuable to their followers that when they speak, EVERYBODY listens.  Heck, people go out of their way to make sure they didn’t miss anything.  So when I see this occur, I can’ t help but ask myself, “How did this person build their worth to a place of such high value?

It’s NOT by accident!

It’s easy to look at these attention commanders and think that it’s only their celebrity status that commands such a following.  It’s convenient for us to blow it off this way so we can get away from the idea that we somehow have control over our own value.  But their fame is only the RESULT of their actions.  Something they did established this credibility and now they reap the rewards that comes with this power.

Commanding attention opens almost EVERY door.

Whether we’re talking about our job, our family or even our social life, being able to be noticed and absorbed is crucial to our success and well being.

At work it may be that we’re shooting for a particular promotion.  If we have gained the respect of our boss and therefore their attention, we have a much greater possibility of getting that prize.  But if we just blend in, it may a lost cause.  As individuals we want to be heard and understood.  If we can’t extend our thoughts to the rest of society in such a way that attention is gained and sustained we start to feel mentally and emotionally isolated.

When I was a kid, my brother who is 6 years older and I, and my mom, would chat away in the car as we drove around town.  I always sat in the back, waiting for my opportunity to jump into the conversation.  Being much younger and less mature, I had a hard time getting much sustained attention and this led me to begin the bad habit of interrupting and talking SUPER fast.  I felt that if I didn’t shoot right through my thoughts, I may lose my audience.  The problem was that this tactic left me chasing after attention, instead of commanding it naturally.

Over the years I have learned to speak with more clarity and not rush through my thoughts.  I’ve had to re-train myself to assume people are listening, not that they are waiting to flee from my sound waves.  What I’ve realized, though, is that it’s not as simple as making that assumption.  I’ve had to learn some key communication tactics to attain the attention I desired.  It has been through these tidbits of talk tactics that I’ve found my voice and successfully begun to connect with the world around me.

10 Tips To Enhance Your Voice While Maintaining A Respectful Tone

1. Speak less often: Just like selling a product, if we flood the market, the value of our goods goes down.  Say too much, even if your words are golden, and you will overwhelm your audience and lose their attention.
2. Carefully choose your words: Lay down a few too many worthless words and you will drive down their value.  By carefully picking the ideas you present to others, you are maximizing the attention they give you.
3. Carefully choose your audience: Often times it’s not the words we share, but the people we are spewing them to that makes or breaks the power of our presentation.  After you’ve picked your content, make sure you’re audience is ripe for its message.
4. Don’t be shy | Confidence is KING: I’m a total introvert so it can be a bit scary to speak to certain types of people.  But the fact is, the posture we present when conveying our message will play a big role in how and if it’s absorbed.
5. Speak softly: If you are speaking the right words, to the right audience, with the right posture, you should never have to speak loudly.  Those around you will naturally focus on your words and do whatever necessary to take it all in.  In fact, just like a loud, obnoxious TV commercial, too much volume will inevitably reduce the desire to listen.
6. Listen to others: We ALL want to be heard.  It is a natural and healthy desire.  If you are never listening to those around you, you will find it much harder to be heard.  I know for myself, it is more appealing to give attention to someone who gives me the time of day.  (Also, we can learn a lot from those around us.  Get too caught up in your own message and you will lose out on the wealth of wisdom that exits the minds of others.)
7. Help others communicate THEIR message: One of the most powerful presentations comes in the form of sharing the ideas of another.  You not only gain their respect, but you take an already formed idea and add your own perspective to enhance its value.
8. Speak from experience: Clarity is key when it comes to effective communication.  Try and audiblize an experience that has not yet been acquired and you will lose the sharp edge of your message.  By speaking from experience we are able to add the exact sights, sounds, smells and feel of the context in question.  This enhances your clarity while defining your expertise.
9. NEVER embellish: It is quite natural to want to turn up the heat on your words to attract the most attention possible.  The problem with this tactic is that you are improperly establishing the expectations of your audience.  You may initially receive more listeners, but they will quickly become disappointed as they are made aware of your enhancements.
10. Be patient!: Building respect can be a long, uphill battle, but it is ALWAYS worth the trip.  Losing it, on the other hand, can be accomplished in an instant.  Never go with the desire to rush into your words.  You can easily add to a previous statement, but what has already been spoken can never be unsaid.

Final Thoughts

The more I share my voice online, the more evident it becomes that these principles are not only important, but crucial to acquiring an effective tone.  I’m finding that gaining respect and building the value of my message is a requirement, not only in the blogging community, but in every day life.  We are so often drawn to the powerful voices around us that we can easily neglect to seek that same resonance with our own.  Carefully walk your words into the outside world and you will inevitably increase the value of your message and the authority that goes along with it.

If you found this post to be useful and want to stay up-to-date with future insight, be sure to subscribe to Motivate Thyself by Email and/or RSS.

Eric

OK, so I decided to give “Motivate Thyself” what I feel is an up to date look.  I think it looks a bit more current and also allows me to feature more specific content rather than just have the latest appear on the top front page.  I’ll be tidying up here and there over the next week or so, but for the most part, it’s close to finished.

So first and foremost, clear you browsers cache just to make sure you’re viewing everything properly.  There’s a chance you may be seeing bits of the old theme if you don’t.

Secondly, what do you think?  I’d love to get your feedback so feel free to hand me your 2 cents.

That’s all for now, but I hope it’s a positive move and a way to encourage continued growth here at “Motivate Thyself”.  See you in the comments…

Eric

I’m really excited to finally unveil my latest blogging project to you guys and gals.  It’s a brand new blog about cloud computing, blogging, WordPress, theme design and general web 2.0 technology.  It’s basically the other half of my geeky personality.  As much as I’m a passionate dreamer, I’m also a technology consultant who loves staying on top of the latest trends and helping others do the same.

Cloud Cadet has two main purposes plus a bonus.

1. Cloud Consulting: I’ve been a computer consultant for the last 5 years and have decided to move my business to the cloud.  This blog/site is my new ‘office in the cloud’.  I’m offering a wide array of services from blog setup, theme design and pretty much ANYTHING WordPress (troubleshooting, tweaking, moving, etc…)  I also offer assistance with hosting services, domain manipulation, complete blog transfers and general technology consulting related to the Internet and blogging.  You can find more about this on my Services Page.
2. Cloud Blogging: I plan to focus my blogging on a wide range of tech topics, from cloud computing from a blogger’s perspective to tips and tutorials on tweaking WordPress themes, design and plenty of other things that will most certainly improve your blogging/Internet skills.  So be sure to check it out and Subscribe on your way out.
3. Bonus: This part may seem kind of silly to some, but maybe not.  I call it Cloud Cadet TV and it’s a kind of ‘sub-blog’ where I will be embedding videos from places like hulu, YouTube, Vimeo and Viddler.  The idea is that I feature a new film or show and anyone can watch it, rate it and then discuss it in the comments.  I know this can be done in a similar fashion on the original sites, but who knows, it might be more fun in a more ‘local’ setting.  Either way, I’ll be watching, even if I’m by myself.

But enough yapping.  Please go check it out!  My first post answers the question, “what is cloud computing?”,  a topic bloggers should certainly know the answer to.  Well, do you?!

Feel free to email me with any questions and any feedback would be GREATLY appreciated.  Enjoy!

Eric

P.S. I’d really appreciate a Tweet about the site and maybe a stumble for its first post if you like it.  Thanks!

Cost: $49 (Comes with full email support from both Sean and I)

Enjoy!

The Blueprint also has a 40% affiliate payout if your interested in signing as an affiliate.

Be sure to pop over to The Blueprint and I’ll see you over there as well as tomorrow, here at “Motivate Thyself”.

Until then…

But instead of continuing this conversation over here, please click over to our BRAND NEW BLOG, subscribe if you’d like and give is a warm, ‘Hello’.  We’d love to see you in our new ‘office’ and hope to be a strong part of your blogging growth.  I’ll see you at the Blueprint!

P.S.  Nothing has changed at “Motivate Thyself”.  I’m still fully devoted to the growth of this blog, it’s content and the wonderful community.  The Blueprint is just an addition to the family.

Liz and our niece, LaNiyah.

Juliet, a regular reader and author of LifeMadeGreat, mentioned the importance of pondering the past year, before pushing toward the future.  It was a small sentence, embedded in her comment on Monday’s post, but it was all I needed to break out my mental photo album and start the gears grinding.

2008, for me, was filled with many extremes in emotion with a few sobering moments to boot.  It was a year of birth, mis-birth, and many new marriages.  Odd things happened, like us kids being the ones already married and all our parents walking down aisles.  Liz became pregnant, then not, and then once more.  And now I’m moving away from a 5 year old business, in pursuit of something greater.  The roller coaster ride was one to remember.

The Many Marriages

As many of you may already know, my dad past away in 2004 and Liz’s parents divorced in ’02.  So we were left with 3 out of our 4 parents, with none having spouses of their own.  This year that all changed.  Years have gone by with no one finding that ‘right’ person.  Then suddenly, BOOM!, all 3 parents decided to tie the knot (2 in the same month).  Needless to say, walking my mom down the ailse was a wonderful, unique experience.

Bring on the Babies!

Another addition to our family was LaNiyah, our precious little niece.  She was born on May 22nd and has truly been a blessing and a joy to invite into our family.  She is full of smiles and as easy going as they come.

Liz became pregnant at the beginning of the year, but had a miscarriage 12 weeks later.  After about 4 more months of trying, we finally became pregnant once again.  This time, we’ve made it well past the first trimester and we’re doing very well.  (Liz’s due date is on May 22nd.  Leniah’s 1st birthday! )

From Business to Blogging, to Blogging Business

After 5 years of owning/running a computer consulting business, I was ready for a change of direction.  In late July I started this blog and after a few months began collaborating with other bloggers.  Now, I’m in a transition stage as I move away from the consulting so I can fully pursue my online ventures.  So though it can be a little scary at times, I’m confident in the future and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

The Life Changers of ’08

Can you think of one thing that happened to you this past year that has changed your life?  It can certainly be a ground breaking experience, but it doesn’t have to be.  Just one instance in 2008 that has adjusted your perspective permanently.

Be sure to make it tomorrow (hangover or not…hopefully not.)  It will be time to declare your resolutions to Blogopolis and I’ll have a post just for that purpose!  See you then…

I’ll be enjoying some time with the family for the rest of the week, but have great things in store for you, both at “Motivate Thyself” and elsewhere, on Monday.  So I hope you guys have a Merry Christmas and are able to take just the right amount of time out of your normal routine to make some wonderful new memories with your loved ones.

I’ll see you on Monday…

So I decided this weekend to bite the bullet and make the move to my Virtual Dedicated Server that I’ve been using for a different blogging project.  I must say that it was a sometimes nail biting experience (at one point, typing motivatethyself.com in a browser brought up one of those delightful, “Sorry buddy, there’s nothing there.” kind of pages.)  But I quickly resolved any of the glitches and got it all working smoothly.

Now at first, I was happy with the boost the new server gave me, but it wasn’t HUGE like I expected.  So I then went through my LONG list of active plugins and found about 8 that I wasn’t using at all.  Once I deactivated those, THEN the speed kicked in.  AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!  It was like I had just crested the peak of a great ascent and was now coasting down the other side, the cool breeze on my face and the sound of song birds in the distance.  OK, maybe not EXACTLY like that, but it was FREAKING SWEET to finally have my blog zip right along!

Some POSSIBLY useful information.

First, let’s look at the server change.  I had been using a common ‘shared server’ which is what 95% of bloggers use.  They cost about $6/month and do the job pretty well.  Also, most of the setup is automated and easy enough for the non-geeks out there.  What I moved to was a Virtual Dedicated Server which usually cost between $30-$50/month and require a significant amount more know how to setup.  But the HUGE upside is that you gain a bunch of speed, more security, more control and the ability to handle HEAVY traffic.  Even if you don’t get ‘server crashing’ traffic flow on a regular basis, one Digg front page and ‘SEE-YA LATER!’.  I’m not trying to say that most of these bloggers really NEED more than a ‘shared server’ can offer, just that these are the advantages if you ever think about taking the plunge.

Like I said, I already had this server setup for another project, so it wasn’t something I did JUST for “Motivate Thyself”.  But MAN am I glad I did it!  If you go to some of the higher traffic blogs like zenhabits or Think Simple Now, you’ll notice faster than average load times.  You get that ‘pop!’ to the next page.  These blogs are running off of these ‘higher end’ servers so they can handle the larger ‘bursts’, but they also benefit from the speed boost which doesn’t hurt.

Other factors to consider.

As I mentioned, it wasn’t JUST the server move that made the difference.  I apparently had a few too many plugins that were bogging my blog down.  Sometimes it can even be one particular plugin that can create huge speed issues.  So one thing you can do to seek greater speeds is to reduce your active plugins and weed out any troublemakers.

Also, too many high resolution images can certainly increase load times.  And this goes for the theme design as well.  Some themes,  Thesis for example, are squeaky clean and generally make for a fast’ish blogging experience.  While others may be super flashy, but also super slow when you’re surfing their pages.

A few other minor changes.

I went ahead and used this move as a chance to make a few changes here and there.  I changed my subscribe icons, for example.  Just some minor adjustments to ‘change it up’ a bit.

So I hope you’re “Motivate Thyself” surfing experience is now a bit more pleasant and efficient.  Let me know what you think or if you’re just thinking, “Dude, I don’t notice any difference.  What the heck are you talking about?!”  If that’s the case, then I’ll just shut up now.