Enduring The Road To Success: The First Valley
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This is the first post in a series called ‘Enduring The Road To Success‘. Each week I will add to the series until it naturally finishes. In other words, I have no idea how many posts it will take to go through the content. The basic premise will be to walk through the road I’ve taken in my past and present ventures as I touch on key points in the journey. Since my consulting business is the largest ‘project’ I’ve taken on thus far, it will be my main point of reference. I hope you enjoy these posts as we go through the struggles and triumphs of seeking success in our lives.
The exact numbers may vary depending on the source you take them from and the goals in question, but the general consensus is that 1 out of every 2 people who attempt to obtain success, will fail. Here are some examples:
- 30% of college students leave after the first year and almost 50% will never graduate.
- 50% of businesses fail within the first year and 80% will never make it to year 5.
- 95% of all blogs will fail.
Now these are just a few areas where people attempt to succeed and I’m sure you will find other ventures that have higher or lower rates of failure, but the point is clear; people fail just as much as they succeed.
The road to success.
The path between the starting line and the final destination of your pursuits can be a long and winding road. Hills and valleys are up ahead and the weather is never certain. You stock up for the mission, but uncertainty is at the forefront of your mind as you embark on this very important journey.
When I started my consulting business 5 years ago, I had no idea what to expect. I had heard the statistics, but wasn’t too concerned. I figured I was one of the few who would succeed. Looking back, I’m not sure if this was arrogance or ignorance, but somehow I seemed to pull it off.
Coming out of the gate, I was driven by the momentum of my enthusiasm. You could say that I started on a ‘hill’ and could see all the great potential ahead. I was sprinting with all my mite as I couldn’t wait to make up some ground. But it didn’t take long for me to find myself in the first valley, unable to see beyond the next bend.
Enduring the first valley.
So here I was, experiencing the first real stumbling block of any journey for success. It’s in the first valley that many will fail. Not only are you in a low point on the trail, but considering it’s your first encounter, you literally have no idea what to expect. It can be petrifying to say the least, and has a tendency to take every last molecule of wind out of your sails.
So what brought me to my first valley?
It was probably a combination of my first bad experience with a client as well as the realization of the work involved in building a successful business. In other words, reality hit me like a ton of bricks. Starting at such a high point and then finding myself tumbling down the mountain, I was experiencing, for the first time, the roller coaster ride to success.
Cameron Herold wrote a brilliant guest post on Tim Ferriss’s blog that tackled this particular subject. He broke the experience down into 4 steps, with the last one being a juncture that had two possible outcomes. It’s called the ‘Transition Curve’ and it looks something like this:
- Uninformed Optimism (At a high point…)
- Informed Pessimism (Starting to crash…)
- Crisis of Meaning (Stuck in a valley…)
- And then either ‘Crash & Burn‘ or ‘Informed Optimism‘ (Do I give into failure or take what I’ve learned and move in a positive direction?)
The basic idea is that most of us start this journey with an optimism that is not completely founded in reality. So when reality does finally hit, your drive can take a serious nose dive. Then you find yourself wondering if this really IS what you want to do or if it is even something that you CAN do. It is at this point that the road splits and you are left to make a potentially life changing decision; “Do I give into failure or do I push through this?” If you choose the latter, you will begin the final step of ‘informed optimism’ where you will have a positive outlook that is based on facts and not adrenaline. Not only will you continue on your journey, but you will have just gained a very important skill that will be crucial in the many ‘miles’ ahead.
The breakthrough of moving beyond your first valley.
Honestly, I think the fear of being broke was what helped me make the decision to push ahead. But the ’skill’ was still learned and the next valley, not as much of a threat.
Many things in life are setup this way. Whether it be the breaking of a bad habit or the pursuit of a dream, making it past the first ‘bump in the road’ is one of the hardest and most crucial parts of the process. It’s the moment the road forks for the first time that you will find out if you want it badly enough.
Your motivators will have their first real test as their ability to drive you is called into question. As I just stated, fear was a big motivator for me in the early stages. This may not be the most ‘attractive’ drive to admit to, but it served its purpose none the less. So as you start to ascend into this dark, unfamiliar land, know that it is up to you to make it through. Nobody will force you to ‘push through the pain’.
6 tips to help you get past this crucial point.
So you’re stuck in this valley and are having trouble finding which ways up, let alone knowing how you’re going to keep moving forward. I’ve been there many times and have thus far made it to the next step, so I not only feel your pain, but have some insight that might be helpful.
- Don’t freak out when you realize it’s not as easy as you thought it would be. When the initial crash begins to take place, panic is often the first reaction. You start asking yourself, “What am I doing here? I can’t do this! This is too hard and just not working out like I thought it would.” I can tell you from experience, THIS IS NORMAL! Relax and know that this was to be expected. Not because you can’t do it, but because your expectations were off to begin with. With a little bit of time and some adjustment to your perspective, you’ll be on your way before you know it.
- Take a weekend and forget all about it. One of the best things you can do to prevent unnecessary panic, is to get away from the situation. Clear your head of the whole matter by taking a weekend and just having some fun. Get some exercise, get some good sleep and relax. Try not to think about what you’re going to do, but instead, focus on getting that mind fresh for the week to come.
- Make sure you’re on the right road. After some R&R it’s time to ask yourself a very important question, “Is this really the right thing for me to do?” The fact is, often times the reason we fail is because we are attempting something that just isn’t for us. You must be careful, though, because this is also an easy time to make excuses and talk yourself out of the RIGHT path. But be sure this is something your REALLY want/need to do. Once you’ve decided it is, you need to…
- Remind yourself why you started this journey in the first place. Sure, you were pumped with optimistic adrenaline in the beginning, but that doesn’t mean the reasons for your pursuit were any less important. Think back to the starting line and re-feed on the ideas for your future. Only this time, do so with your new found appreciation for the challenges that lie ahead.
- Get advice from a veteran in your field. After you’ve refreshed your memory, it’s time to seek the advice of someone who’s been there before. Find that person who’s been through many valleys before and keeps rising to the top. Ask for their insight as you…
- Prepare a counter attack. Now that you have the help of a veteran and you are completely convinced that you’re on the right path, it’s time to layout a game plan to push through this and start your ascension to a successful future. Figure out what things ‘pulled the rug out from under you’ and learn from the mistakes you had made. Accept the reality of your current obstacles and figure out the best ways around them. Look at this whole thing as a learning experience, a necessary ‘lesson’ of life, and make things happen!
Next week we will be touching on the other end of the spectrum as we talk about the ‘hills’ and the importance of ‘keeping your feet on the ground‘.
20 Responses to “Enduring The Road To Success: The First Valley”
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Eric, great post. By combing personal experience to this subject matter you really drive home your point. I like point #3, I feel it’s important to reflect on the path you’ve choosen. This needs to be done at low points and high points to ensure that your goals are being accomplished and that you are satisfied with your progress to date. The only way to determine if you’ve been successful or not is to reflect and review.
Neil´s last blog post..Dealing With Mr. Cranky-Pants
Smart tactics to help combat what anyone willing to take a risk will likely face. Do or do not, there is no try. Thanks for six steps to help make it happen. I’m looking forward to more from the series, Eric. Thanks.
Writer Dad´s last blog post..Bright Ideas
I can’t wait for the rest of this series. I think those 6 steps are extremely helpful. I am now in my second business venture after a major failure in the first. What I have learned, is that you need to learn to love the valleys, as they are between every mountain peak. I imagine you would find it hard to picture getting to the top of the mountain by foot without going through a valley.
Well the same goes for each & every goal. Learn to look forward to the valleys, cause it means the mountain top is getting closer!
Excellent post.
Peter James´s last blog post..Make A Change…Yes We Can!!!
Ah the rollercoaster ride down valleys and over mountains, I know it well!
Accepting them all for what they are really helps me, I’ve found that it’s not the ups and downs that are painful but the resistance to the situation as it is tha causes the pain. Then the emotion clouds your judgement.
There are also a lot of learnings in the valleys, the valleys can be great motivators, motivation that some people do not have while on the mountain.
I look forward to the next parts
In peace, love and success
Lola Fayemi / Nourishment for your spiritual awakening´s last blog post..Anything is possible – yes we can!
Great stuff Eric.
“Looking back, I’m not sure if this was arrogance or ignorance, but somehow I seemed to pull it off.”
Sometimes ignorance is bliss, and as far as statistics are concerned, it truly is. I’ve explored the myth behind small business failure statistics in my blog, and all stats can be tweaked and mis-interpreted, so they are never good things to base your life decisions on. Go with your gut, and with determination, a positive attitude, and some common sense, you should be able to succeed.
Another great point you made, which I feel is a MUST, is getting advice from those who have been there. After I started my blog, I was introduced to numerous folks, like yourself, who have done the computer consulting thing successfully, and each had their own unique approach, but there were definitely some common factors and lessons learned that have proven invaluable not only to the successful launch of my own business, but to my peice of mind as well.
Your Friendly Neighborhood Computer Guy´s last blog post..Top 10 Reasons To Be Nice To Your Computer Guy
Hi Eric,
The timing of your post is great because I am into that first valley. My blog is 3 months old today and I have made 3 bucks
and you wonder, why all the effort, the time spent and so on; and you doubt of yourself, maybe I just can’t get it…. and so on.
Miguel de Luis´s last blog post..Let your creativity flow
Hi Eric,
On point number 1, “Don’t freak out when you realize it’s not as easy as you thought it would be”
This is really important, sometimes people just gave up at this point of time but they must know that whenever we start to do something new, we will definitely reach this point where everything seems so overwhelming. Stay calm, research and seeking help would help us tide over this point.
Great article Eric!
Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger
Vincent´s last blog post..Book Review: How To Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie
Thanks for this post, Eric. I was feeling crashy and burny recently, but this post helped me return to a broader (and better) perspective. Thank you. (:
Pace´s last blog post..Hurry makes worry and haste makes… paste?
@Neil: “The only way to determine if you’ve been successful or not is to reflect and review.”
You’re definitely right about this. Too much of the time we’re preoccupied with everything else that we can miss the boat entirely.
Thanks for really adding to the discussion!
@Sean: “Do or do not, there is no try.”
Well said, Sean.
@Peter: “Learn to look forward to the valleys, cause it means the mountain top is getting closer!”
I love this! Looking ahead to the mountains ahead should inspire us to push through the ‘trenches’. I like the way you think. You’ve definitely learned some valuable lessons with your past experiences.
@Lola: “I’ve found that it’s not the ups and downs that are painful but the resistance to the situation as it is tha causes the pain. Then the emotion clouds your judgment.”
How true is that! And when we start basing our decisions on those ‘clouded’ thoughts, we are destined to make mistakes.
@Matt: “Sometimes ignorance is bliss, and as far as statistics are concerned, it truly is.”
Very true. I find that having blinders on can often times be your best weapon to fight the resistance of the unknown. Our fear of the future rarely helps us on this journey.
I’m excited to watch your new business grow. I’ve had the privileged of being there from the beginning so I can’t wait to talk to you when business is BOOMING!
@Miguel: Hang in there buddy! Blogging is one of the tougher ‘ventures’ because it takes SO MUCH work to get things going and the results can feel like nothing. Those who succeed, stick around long enough to start really seeing the ‘payoff’.
But right now, things can look bleak and therefore your optimism is shot. Just keep on going and let me know if you ever need anything.
@Vincent: Thanks!
“…but they must know that whenever we start to do something new, we will definitely reach this point where everything seems so overwhelming.”
Exactly. Sticking with it and getting past this point will help us see that we CAN do it. Thanks for sharing your insight.
@Pace: Thanks. It always helps to know that your words bring comfort to another.
Eric.
I appreciated your writing and ideas today and I see they are as timely for many of commenters as they are for me today.
After 6 months of writing my blog, I have not made any money yet, and I just realize how much I love to write and learn and that my writing is improving so quickly. I am not looking for a quick fix or a quick buck and I am a hard worker.
But today, I have been heading here for most of my life, I feel like a technical moron – I am feeling very incapable of learning all that I need to know to find a measure of success. Without earning any money from my writing, I can not pay for help. I have been in this valley before, when I realized I could sing, but not major in music or compose because music is so much math and mathematical thinking. Now I can not sing because of tumors on my vocal cords.
I rewrote my idea of success again today…and it does include people just coming to read my writing with out Vered giving me a link, but because I have something to say to them…I am getting there – once again so slowly … I wrote about what if I never make any money? What if I never truly get paid for any thing that I have done in my life? My bottom line is that I don’t want to be dependent on my children for my survival…
I am just down in the valley – not depressed – but I want to walk another path to get out, I have done a number of routes and I just can’t seem to find the next trail head.
And wow, am I not succeeding on Stumble Upon still – after 3 weeks I am on, but not connected to anyone? I did Cath’s tutorial
I don’t want to ask the question: Why is all this stuff so hard for me?….I wish I had the money because that could buy me a new pathway to ascend. Loving what I am doing is not paying the bills.
Patricia´s last blog post..Something Smells
Eric,
This is a fantastic post!!
I’ve really been focusing on how to empower people to ‘change’ and break old habits. Much of what I’ve learned, I’ve put into my free ebook (sorry for the plug).
I think your emphasis on getting back on track after ‘failure’, is key.
Mel T´s last blog post..Doc Says Your TFTB? Try These 12 Weight Loss Tips
@Patricia: I know exactly where you’re coming from. I think that many of us who find how enjoyable and rewarding blogging can be, just wish they were independently wealthy so they could just enjoy it without the need to make money. But I actually find the extra challenge interesting in and of itself. But it certainly can be a distraction when all you want to do is write and make your blog ’sing’.
Hang in there. You’ve go great stuff on your blog and I know your community will continue to grow. The monetization comes with time and a lot of patience.
@Mel: There’s no doubt that avoiding complete derailment is key. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Eric.
Eric, what a great post – and reminder – on the importance of dealing with those first valley’s we encounter. This reminds me of something the late Carnegie Mellon professor, Randy Pausch, said during his “Last Lecture” speech. “The brick walls are there for a reason. They let us prove how badly we want things.” — we will encounter brick walls, valleys, low points, whatever we want to call these points when it can seem hard to go on. Forging forward is indeed for those who want it bad enough. Good on you for getting through yours – and continuing on to success! And, I really like the idea of getting to “informed optimism” – it’s not something that we necessarily have when we start out…
Lance´s last blog post..Believe In Yourself
It is easy to get stuck in the valley! You have provided some great tips here.
I like leaving it alone for a weekend. It is never a good idea to make important decisions when you aren’t well rested and relaxed. Things always look better after a couple of days away.
Once you have done this, then it is time to prepare the counterattack!
Jeff@MySuperChargedLife´s last blog post..Get Into The Good Habit Of Looking At Life The Right Way
@Lance: Thanks and I appreciate you adding your wonderful insight to the discussion.
@Jeff: The weekend idea is definitely essential to get your head straight so you can make your best decisions. I’m glad you enjoyed the post and I appreciate your input. Eric.