How To Avoid Self Destructing On Our Bad Days
Image courtesy of cptcheerios
Nothing can derail our momentum or make us lose ground faster than a bad day that is handled poorly.
I’m one of those ‘got to have 8 hours of sleep or I’m in a bad mood’ kind of people. But this post isn’t about sleep, but how we handle ANY of those circumstances that leave us with a short fuse and/or a skewed perspective. I’m talking about those moments in time when your glass suddenly becomes half empty and you’re tempted to take it out on the world around you.
Yesterday was one of those days. I had been going to bed late for various reasons and started to feel the effects. Suddenly my optimism had been cut in half and my fuse along with it. I had a busy day of consulting ahead of me and I wasn’t looking forward to it. Just the ‘people interaction’ alone was something I was dreading (even though I usually quite enjoy that part of my business).
As I went through the day I found myself struggling to smile at my client’s attempts at lite discussion. I felt crabby and started to realize that I was just moping around and drudging through my work. Once I saw the frown on my face I quickly forced a smile and did everything I could to get my head in the game. I managed to get through my jobs and the rest of the day without any major mishaps.
DANGER!!! DANGER!!!
This may sound like a regular story of a guy who just needed some more sleep, but if you read between the lines you will see major negative ripples barely averted.
Think about it. How much work does it take to build up someone’s trust and respect? And yet, how easy is it to bring that house of cards crashing to the ground? I know that my consulting business hasn’t grown into many hundreds of loyal clients by me moping around doing just enough work to get by. I’ve worked my butt off to not only bring my most focused mind to a job site, but my most positive and encouraging mindset as well. And yet all it takes is ONE BAD DAY that is handled poorly to turn all your hard work into wasted time.
You can talk all day long about how to prevent bad days and that’s great stuff to know. But whether we like it or not, we are going to find our happy juices running low now and again. And when this occurs, we need to be very mindful of our responsibility to our own success, as we make our way through the day.
Here are a few thoughts that might help the next time you find yourself in this dangerous territory.
- Look people in the eye and smile. We tend to keep our eyes to ourselves when we’re in a bad mood. This not only comes across as rude, but let’s us remain in our frowning facade. Often times it’s our actions that need to come first and our feelings will follow. Force yourself to give the other person a big fat smile and you’ll not only make them feel good, but you’ll most likely melt some of your ‘frozen features’ as well.
- Take ‘mini breaks’ whenever you can. When every moment of your day feels like a struggle to stay positive, it’s absolutely essential that you take breathers between ‘missions’. Use the time to rest your mind and breathe deeply. Pushing yourself is great when you can stand the pressure, but on these days you need to just do what you can to stay afloat.
- Give yourself something to look forward to at the end of the day. Just like that big piece of chocolate cake will help a child push through the peas on his plate, so too do we sometimes need a prize to keep our drive alive.
- Practice the ‘Golden Rule‘. It’s as old as time, but has never gone out of style. When you’re having trouble being nice to people that you need and/or want to be nice to, try to step outside yourself and treat them the way you’d like to be treated. It will not only help you keep a healthy perspective, but you’ll be more likely to maintain those healthy relationships.
- Know that tomorrow is a new day! Sometimes the only thing that gets me through a rough day is the knowledge that I’ll get another crack at it in less that 24 hours. I make a game plan to NOT repeat whatever put me in my funk in the first place, and then just put ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER!
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16 Responses to “How To Avoid Self Destructing On Our Bad Days”
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Eric, I find I’m so tied in to the way I’m feeling that a bad experiece can lead to a bad day if I’m not careful. The part about eye contact is very relevant to me. If I’m cross I won’t look people in the eye and I have been told that people think I’m being rude. I will do as yu suggest and try to put a smileon my face before lifting my eyes to meet those fo another. Cheers.
Dave.
Hi Eric,
Great article. You end by saying, “I make a game plan to NOT repeat whatever put me in my funk in the first place”. Often, I’m not sure what put me in a funk. Do you have any thoughts on how to find out why you are in a funk?
Danny
Success Professor – Danny Gamache´s last blog post..Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
Eye contact and the golden rule – both so important. If a bad day defeats you, it can sour things enough to affect your week. Your tips are great, and could help curb a bad day before it spills into a bad week.
Writer Dad´s last blog post..Redbook… An Excerpt
Great image!
The golden rule is important irregardless of what type of day your having! I feel that mini-breaks are also important. They allow you to recharge your batteries, collect your energy and move on to the next encounter.
Neil´s last blog post..Make Saving Automatic
Good advice, Eric, thanks for sharing.
I have a personal beef with the Golden Rule, though. The Golden Rule makes the usual error: it assumes that others want the same things you do. But since everyone’s different, an even better rule is to treat people how they would want to be treated.
Pace´s last blog post..Making a habit of being happy: 8 things that help me be happier
This was right on time. The baby is teething and I’m not getting enough sleep. Yesterday I was practically snarling at people. My little bundle of joy won’t be teething forever so I need to not take it out on other people.
My husband & I are planning a min-break for just the two of us. It’s a few months out but very nice to plan a whole date weekend.
Kay´s last blog post..Rolling Over and a Revolution
I can’t remember where I heard this phrase “Fake It Until You Make It” but seems to fit here though. Sometimes “Faking It” can turn an attitude around by accident, meaning, if one fakes a smile, then unexpected happiness may ensue.
Now, putting all this into practice on “one of thooose” days can be tough.
Scott´s last blog post..I Knocked Scott Down
Haha, I LOVE that picture! Made my day.
“Give yourself something to look forward to at the end of the day.”
What are some things you do at the end of the day that you look forward to?
Your Friendly Neighborhood Computer Guy´s last blog post..The Computer Guy’s Corner #1
@Dave: It sounds like you have a solid grasp on the importance of the idea. The making eye contact is by far my hardest part.
@Danny: Finding the source of your sourness is all about reverse engineering. You have to start at the ‘funk’ and work your way back to the source, moment by moment, feeling by feeling.
If I’m in a bad mood I often try to figure out exactly when that mood came to pass. If it was an hour after a meal than my blood sugar probably crashed from something I ate. Or if it’s around 2 to 3 pm that I’m crashing that it was most certainly from lack of sleep as I know that’s when my body gives out.
So it’s all about knowing your body and paying attention to the details. But even then it can be a mystery.
@Sean: Very good point! It’s not just our day we’re trying to salvage, but our week we need to protect.
@Neil: I know, isn’t that a great image!
The mini break idea is one that can really make all the difference. It can mean the difference of pushing forward and boiling over.
@Pace: I completely understand where you’re coming from here. But I would argue that most of us, at our core, have a common set of basic expectations for how we’d like to be treated. We all want things like respect, courtesy and the benefit of the doubt. Stuff like that. But like I said, I understand what you’re saying.
@Kay: Liz and I are going away for a few days for Thanksgiving so we too our looking forward to a few days of rest and relaxation.
@Scott: ‘Fake it ’til you make it’. Absolutely! Not that we should be fake, but I think ‘forcing a smile’ now and again is much better than letting yourself go and burning some bridges in the process.
@Matt: As I said to Neil, I thought it was PERFECT!
I usually think about sitting down to a nice dinner with my wife and watching one of our many favorite TV shows online.
What about you?
Hi Eric, well written post…
I find that I feel exactly as you described on days where I haven’t had enough sleep the night before. My tolerance is down, and I’m not as positive as I usually would be.
I haven’t actually tried “give yourself something to look forward to” as you suggest, but it sounds good!
Keep up the great content…
-Ross
Ross´s last blog post..You see in your own life what you believe
Hey Eric,
There will be days that we will term as “bad days” but thinking that there will be another 24 hours the next day will definitely help us to get by. I love the last tip
Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger
Vincent´s last blog post..30 Days Challenge to a Healthier Body
@Ross: It sounds like we’re totally on the same page when it comes to getting enough snooze time.
@Vincent: Definitely! The fact that tomorrow is a new day is always a life saver. I’m glad you enjoyed the post! Eric.
The Golden Rule so easy to practice when one is willing. I think the people with minimum wage jobs are the least appreciated people and the ones who need our smile the most. Especially during Christmas time when they put in long hours and spend most of their time on their feet.
The Bold Life´s last blog post..How To Put Joy & Simplicity Into The Holiday Season
Eric
I’m an eight a nighter too. Lately, though, its stressful work that’s been wreaking havoc and turning my smiles into frowns. The tip to look someone in the eye and genuinely smile at them really works. You know its bad when people ask “what happened to your smile?”
It is so easy to slide down that slippery slope of negativity when stress takes over. Another strategy I use is to just stop complaining. This puts my mind in a positive frame and focused on solutions.
kathy´s last blog post..Your Inner Child’s Connection to Flow
@Tess: Great point! It’s a good reminder to be appreciative to those working hard this season.
@kathy: The stop complaining tactic works wonders when used with regularity. Thanks for adding that great insight to the discussion!
Eric.