Image courtesy of JacobEnos
Over the weekend Liz and I continued in the pursuit deculuttering as we prepare for the nursery. The last couple of weeks have been filled with your typical trashing of this, recycling of that and so on. But now all the obvious stuff is gone and we’re moving into those items that have collected just as much dust as the others, but are somehow, in our minds, more meaningful or useful. Now is where the psychology begins. Now is when practical turns to personal attachment. Now is the time to be relentless.
Let’s be real with ourselves.
So I’m staring at my bookshelf in my office. What do I see? Well, a bunch of books, of course. 
But what stands out in my mind is the fact that, other than laying some bills on the top for temporary holding, I rarely ever touch a thing on that shelf. OK, so this will be easy, right? I mean, if I never read the books on the shelf than I can just get rid of them all and free up a ton of space. Right?
As I started perusing the titles that lined the pine boards I instantly remembered why I ‘needed’ these particular books. Oh, there’s the book on ‘How To Play Winning Chess”! I keep meaning to learn more about that fascinating game. And LOOK, there’s my Astronomy books! One day I really want to learn all about our night’s sky. OK, so I can’t get rid of those. I mean, they need to be there when I’m ready to tackle those subjects; when I finally have the time.
You get my point. In many different ways we emotionally attach ourselves to objects that we never use, but that give us some sense of comfort and promise for achievement or a greater tomorrow. And yet most of these items are completely out of sight, out of mind. It is only when our eyes land on them once again that the feelings come rushing back and the ‘reasons’ for keeping them around another day. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; it’s our good intentions that keep our lives entrenched in clutter. Our imaginations that hold the shackles tightly to our ankles.
I once had a short visit with a neighbor who used to be consumed with gadgets. Big ones, small ones, and almost ALWAYS expensive ones. But as his kids grew older (he was a single father with a son and daughter) he started realizing the need to be frugal and save for college and those unexpected circumstances. He also realized how much of his time was spent maintaining, and playing with these gadgets. This was time that could have been spent with his loved ones.
So when I was at his house I asked him about his latest project and he slapped a Popular Mechanics magazine down on the kitchen table and said, “I’m just a fan now.”
He then proceeded to explain how he realized that he could get just as much enjoyment out of following what OTHERS where doing with gadgets and staying up on the latest trends and letting his imagination do the playing. And the great thing was it was dirt cheap and something he could pick up and put down at the drop of a hat. Even his kids became enthusiasts, but nothing more. No obsession, just enjoyment.
Back to the books.
I tend to be this way. I want to learn and experience EVERYTHING. I’m afraid that I’ll miss out if I don’t pursue every hobby that’s out there. But the fact is, most of those books represent nothing more then good intentions. In the end, I can’t take on every extracurricular activity known to man. And I especially can’t do this if I also desire any real depth of experience. What great astronomer do you know of that equally delved into 10 other areas of expertise and still had time to enjoy family, friends and a beautiful summer afternoon?
Let me get to the point.
- Figure out how much time you ACTUALLY have after the real needs are taken care of.
- Then determine how many activities you could truly enjoy in the remaining free time.
- Let’s say, for example, you’ve determined that you have time to fairly deeply pursue two non essential activities. Now pick what two things bring the greatest satisfaction to your life.
- Now simply get rid of everything else.
I know, I know, this is a little OVER simplified. This may not work for everyone, but I can only see from my own personal experience. What I see, after analyzing my bookshelf, is about ten too many activities that I’ll never get around to enjoying and that will just continue to collect dust and take up space. I’m done harboring the objects of my good intentions. I’m ready to clear out the ‘one day’s’ so I can make room for the ‘right now’s’.
So what I’m doing/have done, is pick two non-essential activities/types of objects. Anything of value that pertain to these two areas will remain in our home. Anything else, GONE!!! (Many people, myself included, have two distinct sides to them. For me, sometimes I tap into my imagination and passion, while other times it’s all about tech. So whatever you do, try to prepare for your ‘multiple personalities’. As an example, I pursue my passions by biking and flying my RC gliders, while I tap into my tech side with blogging and cloud consulting.)
The benefits of this kind of decluttering.
What do most of these good intentions give us?
- Less room.
- Greater distraction for those things that are more important.
- A feeling of discouragement every time we remember this good intention we are NOT tending to.
The fact is, once we’re done with our work, our must-dos, our family needs and wants and take the necessary time to tend to our OWN physical and emotional needs, we’re left with very little time and energy. By just having two or three of our favorite types of objects waiting there for our free time focus we are allowed much greater enjoyment and satisfaction.
This doesn’t mean we can’t dabble in a little of this and a little of that. Just be a fan of life’s multiplicity of hobbies. We just don’t need to OWN all these items. We don’t need to harbor the mass to appreciate the purpose. We can live starkly simple physical lives while still putting our feelers out into all that the World around us has to offer.
So the next time you’re trying to declutter your life, do yourself a favor and break through the barrier of good intentions. Pick your top two or three favorites and then do away with the rest. The best things in life are free, and the rest of our time should be spent with only our absolute favorite objects that we ACTUALLY use and truly bring satisfaction to our lives.
Don’t think I could ever reduce myself to 2 things, and besides the time and space, I realise it also does limit my ability to achieve in the things I do. I accept that at the moment as my curiosity and wide-ranging interests are part of what makes me me. But like everything it needs reining in with honesty else it lease to clutter based on illusions.
Realising that much of our clutter is old dreams we never followed, and being realistic about what one might actually do in the next 2-3-5-10 years, does really help. I got rid of about 500 books in the last year, and clothes, and objects from hobbies I will not revisit.
I still have more than 2 activities (several reading topics -physics, maths, myth, cognition, community, online media, political philosophy etc. plus items to pursue photography, painting, several crafts, hiking, skiing, dogs, house renovation projects and scanning old photos etc.
BUT I gave up on many more and cleared the clutter, such as the books I owned because I liked to think I would read them one day, but have to honestly admit I never will, as there will always be something more interesting and easier for me to tackle.
I probably need to pare the list down some more and clear more stuff – lots of it, but somehow it takes more time than one thinks to spot the “illusion” groups within the things we own
I am lucky, I have a library membership. This allows me to get into any subject that catches my fancy and yet keep everything economical. I do have a small collection of fiction books which have been gathering dust for a while. Would be selling them off this year.
Avani-Mehta’s last blog post..How To Create Lasting Relationships
You write, “In many different ways we emotionally attach ourselves to objects that we never use, but that give us some sense of comfort and promise for achievement or a greater tomorrow.”‘
How true. I’ve worked diligently to find my “sense of comfort” elsewhere and the de-cluttering is less hard to do.
Good for you for the streamlining efforts.
With books, if you have some temporary storage space, one good way to get rid of them is to do the following.
1. Box up all the books you don’t think you want.
2. Store them for 6 months
3. Open the boxes and quickly go through them asking yourself – did I miss this book?
4. If no, out it goes. If yes, it goes back on the shelf.
5. Repeat every six months until you get down to the books you really love.
I went from having a wall of books stacked two deep in some places to one shelf of books I brought with me to Spain when I moved here form Europe.
And if you’re like I used to be, there are charity book sales that actually come and pick up the books so that you don’t have to take them anywhere and get rid of them yourself (I just couldn’t do it).
This is so true. When I moved I gave away 3/4′s of my books. I’ve been in AZ. for a year and a half now I’m my two little book shelves are being cluttered again.
What do I really need? Only a few. You’ve motivated me to retake my inventory and let even more go. I just got my new library card and will be buying less as well.
Thanks for the great post.
Hi Eric,
I agree that we always attach ourselves to things that are not important and that is why we are always reluctant to throw things away. Whenever I am faced with a dilemma whether to throw the object away, I will use a benchmark of a year. If in this year, I will not use the object, I will just gladly throw it away.
Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger
As soon as I get rid of anything, in a few moments later I realize where it fits in my life. I used to think that this was because we always want what we can’t have, right?. As I grew and expanded my conscious awareness, I saw that everything we attract in our lives is there for a reason or it would not be there, it would attract-itself-out of our lives quite naturally. In this manner I don’t get rid of anything, I simply allow and be open.
For example, if a friend comes over and sees something that they are more passionate about than I am, then I will give it to them. To me this is the natural order of things. It may not fit in your life, but if it’s still in your life; there is a reason. Perhaps it’s meant for someone else who needs it.
When I first started blogging, I would delete many articles after writing them because I couldn’t see who they fit in with what I was trying to accomplish. Those articles had a feeling of not turning out right. However, a day, or week, or month goes by and I see exactly why I wrote that article. Now it’s too late though and as a writer you know you can try to reproduce it, but it will never have the same structure, voice, and heartfelt words to it.
Therefor, I keep everything but I organize it so there is not clutter.
I appreciate this article very much and I see that it has the potential to help many people (it has its place), I am by no means refuting this because I know that every creation (every article) has it’s place and you are doing a perfect job by listening to your experience. The universe can not operate in any other way.
Check out my video response…
[viddler id-cf4997f9]
Wow, that is some coincidence! I *just* emailed you earlier today about this exact topic. I know you didn’t get the idea from me, since you wrote about it a couple days ago – and I didn’t check my RSS feeds for a few days, so I only read it now.
Great minds think alike eh? On lots of clutter, I’ve also started giving away/clearing out many items in my life. I’ll let you know when the day comes that I actually wish I had kept something
@Sid: Great minds, for sure!
“I’ll let you know when the day comes that I actually wish I had kept something
”
Well, said. Eric
The toughest part is letting go of your possessions.
I try to make this easier by either storing old things in my villa, or by selling or donating what I will never use again.
The trick here is to ask yourself the question: Do I really need that?
The trick with visual clutter is even easier. Just ask the question: How often do I use that? If you use it quite often, it should be visible. If not, put it in a drawer.
Thanks for the great post, Eric!
Dimitar Nikolov’s last blog post..10 Tips For Living A Simple Life
I have lots of books, and often multiple copies of the same book.
I like to have spares to lend to friends. But then I wonder if they won’t return them, so I get more spares. I have like 20 copies of one book, since I like to lend it out a lot.
Years ago I learned a valuable lesson about resisting the temptation to become emotionally attached to things. Close friends of mine and their children lost most of their personal possessions in a house fire. Sad as this was, they were so well grounded as a family that they focused on what was important–that nobody was injured or killed; and it brought everyone even closer. It wasn’t long before we referred to the fire as “The Big Barbecue”, and concentrated on rebuilding their home and their lives.
Still, it’s easy to accumulate stuff, and sometimes I find it difficult deciding when to keep that perfectly good (fill in the blank) and when to give it a send off. I’ll give your method a try! Thanks for the great article.
Michael
MIchael’s last blog post..Crippled for Life?
Thanks Michael, for both the insight and the kind words. It sounds like you have a solid grasp on the importance of people, not objects. Great stuff and thanks for sharing. Eric