I spent weeks thinking about how I was communicating to people, and found it was my own short comings that was causing me to impress others. After that, I practiced going entire days without mentioning any kind of accomplishment, benefit, status, goal, dream to ANYBODY, and felt great. I was finally letting people get to know ME. People would instead find out things on their own then say “Oh my gosh, that is so interesting…why didn’t you tell me that before,” and i was glad to after that. Men began respecting me more, and women would listen to everything I said intently. My dating life improved, and friendships got better.

So next time someone complains about you or even tells you something candid that you know is true, look them in the eye and say “thank you, you’re absolutely right” and make a change. It may save your life.

I have great feedback 99.9% of the time But it’s the 1% that get’s to you

Thank you For the great tips Just what I needed

Mell

I guess the response then should be chosen on the basis of what a person is capable of rather than what is the “best” outcome ?

I think your friends way of dealing with stuff like this is spot on. It’s kind of like saying, “I see your comment, I’ve analyzed it and I’m not interested in entertaining it. Bye.” PERFECT! Eric

Without the priviledge of reading the particular email you were referring to here, of course my comment has to base on more generalised situations.

However, if the email was that offensive, then why was it so hard to just delete it ? Why would you want to subject your lovely wife to having to read it and then discussing it again in the afternoon ?

Since that particular email spurred you on to think about and to write this article, you must have felt the need to defend yourself psychologically, even when you chose not to reply.

Its just my opinion of course, and I dont mean to push the idea onto you, I simply suggest that if and when such a need arises, you may want to try going for control of the whole situation, beyond just controlling how you feel and react.

My only caveat with this is that some initial emails/letters/etc… are so plainly abusive that to even reply to it as if it were anything more than hate speech, is just giving attention to pure negativity.

If we’re just speaking of general negative comments, than I would have to completely agree with your point, but in reference to the email I was referring to, I’d have to respectfully disagree.

I could be wrong here and you make a very good point. I guess it’s a matter of preference as well. Eric

Instead of “running away” and deleting the email without answering, which is a form of denial in a way, you could turn the table back on the person who sent those unkind negative emails. You can answer them in a totally non defensive way by asking them to explain their thoughts and anger. This demonstrates that you have read the correspondence, that you have thought calmly about what they had to say, but the content had not upset you, instead you were more concerned about their line of thoughts and negative energy.

This shows you are more a mature and bigger person, who can feel compassion even for those who have attacked you.

Often, in my experience, such a response will surprise the sender and make them think twice about their actions, which is a good thing. However, if the person continues in their ignorant way and send further abusive messages, then its proper to delete and ignore them then.