How To Live In Your Sweet Spot

content-with-lifeImage courtesy of LaserGuided

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is a guest post from Jeremy Day of Insight Writer.

The days of us personal development bloggers talking about life balance almost seem to be over.

We used to talk about it so much. Yet it seems that the subject of life balance has gone more or less quiet in most circles.

What gives?

I think people are a bit jaded with the idea of balancing it all. Many people try it and fail. Or do it, but it seems to only last for a short time.

I have another idea. How about we look at just staying in our sweet spot?

Forget About Perfection

I don’t know about you, but I have this need to reach perfection in many areas of my life. At the very least, I lead a life focused on a relentless pursuit of improving myself.

This is all well and good. This pursuit has brought me a long way. However, I have to remind myself that perfection is unattainable. It is a myth and a legend. No one is perfect at all.

Embrace Your Reality

Therefore, we need to embrace our reality. And this means embracing ourselves with all our flaws and ugliness.

It means accepting the fact that you can’t please everyone.

It means some people will love you and some people just might hate you.

It means your actions will make people happy, it will make them sad, it will make them angry, and everything else you can think of.

Stop beating yourself up over the fact that you can’t please everyone.

People will try to manipulate you into doing things you wouldn’t otherwise do. Don’t listen to them.

People will change you for the better through their caring about you. By being unselfish. Watch out for selfish people with seemingly good motives. They can be the worst kind.

Again, accept yourself as you are. Not everyone will love you, but not everyone will hate you either. People tend to love people who are authentic anyway.

Be Content with Contentment

We talk about contentment, but we don’t really want it. We always want more. It seems to be part of the human condition.

Even when we say we are content we often have thoughts in our minds of more.

More love, more power, more money, more toys, more friends, more of everything you can imagine.

When will we ever learn to just be content with contentment?

It’s really OK to be content. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone! You don’t have to prove that you are better or can get more.

You see the human condition really is about improving our own self worth. If we can achieve more and receive more, of whatever it is, we feel better about ourselves.

Yet there is a sweet spot…

Remember what is most important

Feeling good about ourselves is important, but not most important.

Getting what you want out of life is important, but not most important.

Having things that make you happy and help you enjoy life better is important, but not most important.

What is most important are the people in our lives.

Our family, our friends, our neighbors, our customers, our co-workers, our community. That is what is most important.

To live in your sweet spot forget about perfection. All people are imperfect and yet a lot of good still comes out of this imperfect people.

To live in your sweet spot embrace your reality. If you are made to be a carpenter, be a carpenter. No use wishing you were the shoe maker. Remember that your reality also includes the people that fate brings into your life. Embrace those circumstances as well.

To live in your sweet spot be content with contentment. Its OK to be content with what you have. Enjoy it while it lasts.

To live in your sweet spot remember what’s most important. Take the time you need to spend it with the ones you care about most. If you can do that one thing, you will be living a pretty sweet life…

Jeremy Day writes about personal development, finance, and health @ Insight Writer. Check out his website and subscribe to his RSS feed. You won’t be disappointed!

Comments

  1. says

    I think finding balance is just enjoying the journey. A juggler may have a have dozen pins orbiting his face, but he is definitely in the moment. I do not believe I need to clear equal footing for everything in my life to achieve balance, I just need to embrace a life in constant flux. As long as my basic needs are met and I am moving at an incline, this is more than enough for me.

    Writer Dad’s last blog post..Petals Papered Our Lives Walls

  2. says

    You touch on a lot of important points in this post, but I strongly agree with those under the “Remember What is Most Important” subheading. It IS those around us and the relationships that we have with them that are most important. At times, it is difficult to take the focus off of ourselves because we naturally believe our wants and desires are of the utmost importance. You point out that we should instead focus on those around us…I agree.

    Jake | Revive Your Life’s last blog post..Wellness and The Bucket Theory

  3. says

    Hi Jeremy,

    I absolutely agree that you can’t please everyone. It’ll be foolish to even think of achieving that. Nobody has ever achieved that – not Jesus, not Muhammad, not Buddha.

    And it reminds me of a quote by Bill Cosby, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

    Cheers~

    Mark

    Mark Foo | TheBigDreamer.com’s last blog post..The 77 Traits Of Highly Successful People – Part 3/5

  4. says

    Nice point, Eric!

    The problem you mentioned is what I call the perfectness syndrome. Trying to achieve ultimate balance and to be the perfect human being is impossible and only leaves to a deep depression.

    The key is understanding what can and what can’t be changed. Then the only way to self improvement is changing what you can and being able to live with what you can’t change.

    I wrote about it recently in my blog. It’s good to head for the best, but only when it’s possible.

    Thanks for the interesting article.

  5. says

    Your points on contentment and what is most important (the people in our lives) remind me of Viktor Frankl’s idea that one should not try to hyper-intentionally MAKE things happen — one must LET things happen — and the dedication to others is the path to that end.

    I’ll let Frankl’s own words speak to this point better than I:

    “Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you will miss it. For success, like happiness, can not be pursued; and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see — in the long run, I say! – success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it.” ~ Viktor Frankl

    Kent @ The Financial Philosopher’s last blog post..Are Financial Plans Illusions?

  6. says

    I just wanted to say thanks, Jeremy, for sharing this awesome post with us! You really nailed the idea of finding that place of greatest value. This was a perfect fallow up to my Simplicity post. :-) Eric

  7. says

    Hi all,

    Eric, thank you for giving me the opportunity to guest post. It has been a pleasure. Thank you all for reading and leaving a comment if you did.

    @ Writer Dad – I’m right there with you. Forget about balance and just enjoy the journey.

    @ Jake – Focusing on improving others’ lives often improves our own. It is a paradox, but one that is proven true on a daily basis around the globe.

    @ Mark – I love that quote. I have heard it before and I love it when it is used. Bill Cosby is a wise man. I am a natural people pleaser but I am slowly overcoming that.

    @ Marc and Angel – But it is so hard to relax sometimes! I guess maybe its just in my character. ;-) I do truly believe in deep breathing exercises though.

    @ Bamboo Forest – Content with what we have now, but not content with me we might have in the future. I’m right there with you, but I’m starting to believe that this constant search for improvement may not be right. Especially if its just improvement just for improvements sake. Its much better just to align your values with your actions and proceed from there. The practice itself will help you improve.

    @ Dimitar – I agree! Yet, knowing what can and can’t be changed is the hard part. Sometimes we delude ourselves into thinking something can be changed when it can not. And sometimes we sell ourselves short by thinking something can’t be changed when it can. hmmmmm…..

    @ Kent – Thank you for digging this quote up. It is a good one. You probably know I have written about Frankl before. I love his writing and his experience speaks magnitudes. I think it should be required reading for high school students. I think the whole “Don’t aim for success” idea could be a post in and of itself. hmmmm… I see a new post coming soon…. ;-)

    @ Laurie – I don’t think I could have summarized my post any better than you just did with your comment! Thank you!

    Cheers,
    Jeremy

    Jeremy Day’s last blog post..Glorious Snowfall

  8. says

    I agree with almost everything in the post except that I believe it can leave some with an idea that I don’t agree with. I am thankful for what I have. I am happy that I have had the life I have had so far. But I am not what I would call “content”. Life is a process of growth and that growth is the stuff of life. So I’m not “satisfied”, “content”, etc. I don’t strive for a bunch of “things” although I do enjoy those things. But I strive for something better nonetheless. Everyone needs a little edge on or else they will go nowhere. You got it right with this:

    “We talk about contentment, but we don’t really want it. We always want more. It seems to be part of the human condition.”

    So let’s not try to change that human nature. Let’s make it work for everyone.

    Stephen – Rat Race Trap’s last blog post..How to Be Successful by Believing in Your Dream

  9. says

    This moment is all we have. Right now. No past, no future. I love commenting on Eric’s blog, so right now, I’m happy. It’s a moment well spent. If we postpone being happy till we own enough, feel safe enough, wealthy enough, healthy enough, ‘successful’ enough, loved enough, slim enough, then we never will be happy. Happiness isn’t just about doing what you love, it’s about loving what is, figuring out what you really need and finding a way to love the things you have to do and the humanity in everyone you encounter. When all that is going well, it’s human nature to be attracted to the kind of flow that generates more of that kind of happiness.

    We in the west have a pretty messed up happiness-requirement default. Waking up alive with all my senses intact and my loved ones near does it for me most days – everything else is a bonus.

    Thought-provoking post, Jeremy! Nice choice Eric!

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