"Life Is Not A Game Of Perfect"
By Dr. Bob Rotella
A consulting client of mine, Dr. Bob Rotella, is a Sports Psychologist as well as an author of numerous books. Golf is his main area of expertise, but his talents range far and wide. His wife, who also happened to be my 2nd grade teacher 
, was nice enough to give me some of his books to read. I’ve started one and have been very impressed by it. It’s very inspiring and right up my alley. It’s called “Life Is Not A Game Of Perfect” and it’s a spin off of a previous book he had written called “Golf Is Not A Game Of Perfect”.
The book, so far, is all about how our real talent is not derived from our God given genes so much as our drive, focus and all out determination. He states that our ‘free will’ is “the most fundamental of real talents”. He boasts, “Real talent is something anyone can develop.” This is a view that I hold and try to promote on this blog. Here is an excerpt from the end of chapter one where he is referring to his view on why today’s society have and/or will fail to take advantage of the opportunities in front of them. (Preceding this, he has introduced the reader to a friend of his who is a big wig at Merrill Lynch so that is why he refers to the company about half way through the excerpt.)
“I think that’s a reflection of the way our society raises children. Our schools and our families devote enormous attention to cultivating the personal characteristics that we have been told comprise talent. American parents spend lavishly on private schools and tutors and prep courses to improve their children’s scores on an endless series of acronymic intelligence tests, from the first IQ to the last GRE. After school and in the summer they devote copious resources to the things that television tells us are the athletic talents–dunking or dribbling or driving golf balls.
But I know of few if any school programs that teach and develop the characteristics of real talent. If the typical school pays any attention at all to personal strength of character, it wastes its time on superficial efforts to assure that each child has high self-esteem. Regardless of how the children perform, it tells them that they’re great, they’re marvelous, they’re talented. Kids see through this. It does no good.
In the end, our system spews out millions of graduates who become the three out of four who fail to grasp the opportunity they’re afforded by companies like Merrill Lynch. Because ours is a wealthy society, they don’t starve. For the most part, they find niches where mediocrity is tolerated. They go on to have careers of no particular distinction. They retire with a vague sense of dissatisfaction and bitterness.
I see this as a terrible loss. I know that this society could be unimaginably more productive and a great deal happier if people knew the truth about talent and acted on it.
And I see myself as very fortunate, because I grew up in a home and in a town and at a time in which real talent was appreciated and cultivated.”
These words ring true with me. How about you? Do you agree with the idea that our society is too focused on either celebrity status or self-esteem? Do you think that real talent comes from a determined heart, a never give up attitude? I don’t know about you, but this is how I see the world around me. This is at the heart of my drive and the core of this website. Let me know what you think and why you agree or disagree.
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Through personal experience, I find that, although hard work and determination will get you far in life, there are certain things that certain people have a natural ability to do well, and those people will always do better at that thing.
For example, I’ve been a musician for most of my life. As I’ve progressed musically, I’ve seen fellow musicians who had the passion, drive, determination, and practiced hours upon hours every day to try to reach the level of the other musicians around them. But, because they didn’t have that intrinsic musicality, they were not able to progress.
On the flip side, I’ve seen musicians that were phenominal right out of the gate, but because they weren’t disciplined or had bad attitudes or didn’t practice, they were not able to progress either.
My philosophy is to try EVERYTHING once, find out where your natural abilities and talents lie, and focus all your energy on nurturing those.
@Matt R: I see what you’re saying and I don’t think anyone is questioning the fact that greater physical and mental ability will give you an advantage over someone with less of the same. I think the point here is that most people, regardless of their abilities will never really see success in life because of their choices or lack there of. Sure, there will always be someone more gifted than you but it is up to you to make the most of what you have. And of course you’d be a fool to try to compete in an area that you are just utterly bad at and expect your hard work to make up the difference. (I think that’s just logic that transcends any ideas about talent.)
I think the difference here is that I am thinking about success in life and you may be thinking about success in a specific area. What I mean is that a “never give up” attitude may not guarantee that you win a gold medal in the Olympics, but it gives you a pretty good shot at being a success in one way or another. Whereas too many of us settle for whatever is easier. “If our natural abilities don’t get us to the place we want to be, than I guess that’s as far as we’ll go.”
So I don’t disagree with you, just maybe see it in a little different light.
I believe that there are limits for everything. A person unable to stand on his legs would not run a marathon. And not every one is going to paint like Velazquez; Murillo or Turner.
However, you don’t need to paint like Turner to be a master of the Manga. So there is almost always a way to put our talents, our perceived shortcomings into advantages.
It is about persitence, discipline, intlligence and some guts.
@Miguel de Luis: It’s not what we can or can’t do that is in question here as much what we will or won’t do.
Hi Eric,
Wow, your book sounds like a good one. I’ll have to see if our local library has it. I think the quote you picked out touches on many things. Like:
-Blind praise kills its effect. I see this with parents all the time
-Schools as we know it compromise more students than those who discover their true passions and talents.
-Passion is the basis for talent, not the other way around. Innate ability is one thing, but without passion, it’s useless. Talentless passion may not win in a straight race, but like Miguel’s example, if you get creative, you can figure out how to use what you have for good applications.
Very good post, Eric. Very thought-provoking.
ari
@Ari: I’m glad you enjoyed it. So far it’s a great read. I think the issue that some people have with this kind of book is the idea that much of our greatest potential lies with our ‘heart’ so to speak and that our natural abilities only get up but so far. Sure, Tiger Woods in incredibly talented but he is also one of, if not the, most driven athlete I’ve EVER seen. Take away that drive and we would have never heard of him.