It’s hard to believe that we’re into the third week of September! Summer’s ending and the Holiday Craze will soon begin. But for now, let’s get back to our focus on ‘Comfort Zones’ and how we can keep them from restricting our progress as we seek our goals and dreams.
This week my wife and I have been catching up on a few shows that we like on Fox. One of them is called Kitchen Nightmares with World renowned chef Gordon Ramsey. The premise of the show is to take poorly run restaurants and watch Ramsey swoop in and save the day. But he doesn’t do this with kid gloves, but instead he hits things head on. He’s more like a drill sergeant than a chef.
The last episode I watched there was a chef of a restaurant called ‘The Handlebar’. She was very open about the fact that she wasn’t a ‘real chef’ and you could see her insecurity. As the show went on and Ramsey stirred up new business for this lack luster restaurant, they had their busiest night ever. During this time you get to watch as the chef scurries around in the kitchen, muttering to herself words of frustration and yet not communicating with the other chefs or the wait staff. She ends up getting far behind, over and under cooking many dishes and making a disaster of things. Later in the show Ramsey teachers her the value of communication and the willingness to share the load in the kitchen.
As I watched her on that horrible night, I thought about myself in my technology consulting business. Sometimes I feel like her as I get pulled in 5 directions at once and struggle to stay focused on the tasks at hand. I’ve realized over the years that it is my ‘Comfort Zone’ that often times keeps me from taking control of my life, my business and the pursuit of my goals. It feels uncomfortable for me to tell people ‘NO’. I know that I need to lay clear guidelines and yet will find myself being wishy-washy instead.
Like that chef, I end up taking it out on myself in frustration. Instead of digging my feet in and doing exactly what I feel is the best thing to do in any particular situation, I will opt for the push over mentality instead.
So this is the picture of what I would call a ‘Poisonous Comfort Zone’. It’s a barrier in my life that not only holds me back, but infects the rest of my life with frustration. I’m being re-active instead of pro-active. So my goals have been to lay down my own guidelines in my business and stop letting others dictate things for me. I have been focusing on stepping out of the comfort I get by going with the flow and clearly defining my actions and intentions in my business.
It’s been a bumpy road, but I have made much progress. Changes like these don’t come easy, but their worth the effort.
This week we focus on progress. I want you to think about what progress you’ve made in your struggle with comfort zones and what things you can do to go even further to define new boundaries. Let us know how far you’ve come as well as where you’d like to be. I know that for me, I want to get to a place where I don’t have to think twice about clearly defining my path no matter who I’m dealing with and what the situation.
So what is the image you have when you try to imagine your life with no boundaries? What is holding you back and what are you going to do about it?
I am the same way that you are, a go with the flow guy who tries to make people happy at the expense of my own weel being. Slowly but surely I’ve been learning to be more decisive and proactive, without being a jerk (which is important). And so far the results have been great. I’m not where I feel I need to be, but I’m working on it and seeing results, which helps me to continue improving.
BTW Kitchen Nightmares is a crazy show! Makes me NEVER want to get into the restraunt business.
@Matt: “BTW Kitchen Nightmares is a crazy show! Makes me NEVER want to get into the restaurant business.”
I know what you mean. After watching a few episodes you can’t help but think they are all huge money pits. There’s no doubt it’s a hard business to get into. They require a lot of time and money but can really pay off if done right.
Hi Eric,
Enjoyed your analogy of Gordon Ramsey and your life. I’ll have to watch this show sometime.
I hear your pain. But since it is just me, freelancing, I have to prioritize tasks or I get behind in one area or another.
My husband works ten hours a day/four days per week, so when he gets home he is tired. So I don’t delegate much to him on the weekdays!
It’s a good skil to learn though, delegation.
@Ellen: Thanks for sharing your insight. I really enjoyed your blog and plan to check out future posts.
It certainly is a different animal being a freelance writer. I can imagine that delegation is key for you to get anything done in a timely manor. I definitely need to delegate more with my clients and look forward to improving in this area.
How do you like freelancing? How long have you been doing it?
“I’m being re-active instead of pro-active.”
Eric, I hear that loud and clear now. What is it about chaos that sometimes can actually feel comfortable? My goal this week, and I am getting somewhere, is to take a certain blogger’s suggestion. I’m making a list of stuff that I need to deal with, to calm the waters now. It’s working, too. I feel the difference in not having my hair on fire all the time. I can think more clearly and see what’s in my way, either behaviors or excuses, or whatever I’ve come up with this time! Is it Friday yet?
@Bonnie: It sounds like you’re headed in the right direction.
“I can think more clearly and see what’s in my way, either behaviors or excuses, or whatever I’ve come up with this time!”
Being able to have a clear head when you make decisions and maneuver through your day is SO important. Good to see you’re finding ways to do this.