So it’s been a week since you’ve been asked to look at your comfort zones and see how they affect your life and your ability to meet your goals. I hope you’ve spent some time chewing on this because it’s now time to dive into week2: The Challenge.
First, I wanted to start with some relevant, thought provoking quotes about comfort zones.
“To the degree we’re not living our dreams, our comfort zone has more control of us than we have over ourselves.” Peter McWilliams
“A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown.” Denis Waitley
“In bullfighting there is a term called querencia. The querencia is the spot in the ring to which the bull returns. Each bull has a different querencia, but as the bullfight continues, and the animal becomes more threatened, it returns more and more often to his spot.
As he returns to his querencia, he becomes more predictable. And so, in the end, the matador is able to kill the bull because instead of trying something new, the bull returns to what is familiar. His comfort zone.” Carly Fiorina
“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” Brian Tracy
“If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness.” Les Brown
From the comments I’ve seen thus far, regarding this topic, it seems that things like procrastination, creature comforts and social interaction/engagement are some common themes. As I stated in a comment from week1, I have always had a hard time with social interaction. For some reason I just don’t do well with things like small talk and just hanging out without a purpose. (I think this is why I do better in business situations; there’s a purpose/structure to the engagement.) As you can see, I’m a blast at parties! 
As we mature in life we become involved in different situations that naturally take us out of our comfort zones. My consulting business, for example, has forced me to directly engage complete strangers. Not only this, but I have to do it with confidence and sometimes assertiveness. I am an introvert and therefore this does not come naturally. Over time, through repeatedly uncomfortable situations, my comfort zones have broadened. Knocking on the door of a complete stranger is no longer scary to me.
Recently, I decided to experiment a little. I had been using yellow page advertising to promote my business for the past couple of years. They’ve done pretty well for me, but I was interested to find out the effects of my other options. One such option was to print out some brochures and go door to door. So, on a whim, I did just that.
I picked a couple of neighborhoods and just started knocking on doors. About an hour later I had left 50 brochures and actually talked to about 35 people. I introduced myself, handed them the information and answered any questions that they might have had. If someone seemed impatient I just said ‘thank you’ and went on my way.
The result of this venture was a couple of new clients and this more than payed for the time invested. But what I thought was most interesting was something my wife had said. She pointed out the fact that something so terrifying to me just a few years ago, was now no big deal. I realized, at that moment, how much my business has broadened my comfort zones.
So then I started looking at how this could apply to other areas of my life. I realized that my struggles with social engagement could be helped in a similar way. By forcing myself to become more involved in social situations, I will, over time, broaden my comfort zones in these areas.
That’s it. It’s not rocket science. If your comfort zones are too narrow, continuously do what makes you feel uncomfortable and you will be more comfortable doing such things. It’s like a muscle. The more you do something, the more capable you will be at doing it in the future. What makes it so hard to get past our comfort zones is the fact that it’s so uncomfortable, and we hate discomfort.
2 keys to overcoming the restrictions of your comfort zones:
1-Have something strong enough to drive you past them.
First and foremost, you need to have dreams/goals that are strong enough to make you willing to be uncomfortable. Often times our jobs make us feel uncomfortable, but we do them anyway because our need for money drives us to. So if there is an area that you want to excel in, but your comfort zones are keeping you from doing so, make sure you have a clear vision of the benefits that will fallow. If these benefits are strong enough, you will most certainly do what ever it takes to make things happen.
2-Learn to enjoy being uncomfortable.
I love to exercise! In particular, I love to ride my bike. One of my favorite parts is ‘rocking it’ up a big hill. The bigger the better. I just love to feel the pain and push past it! There is just something invigorating about mind over matter. And knowing that I am strengthening my heart and body doesn’t hurt either.
But it wasn’t always like this. When I first started riding, I hated hills! I would just endure them so I could enjoy the rest of the ride. Over time, though, this got boring. Just like in life, if you’re not being challenged, you’re not going to grow. And if you aren’t growing, you’re not truly living.
After a while I started pushing myself to ride faster and harder. I started seeing a hill as a challenge to take on, instead of an obstacle to endure. I can honestly say that I now ‘enjoy being uncomfortable’ while riding my bike. This is because I know that the discomfort is a sign of growth. And growth is something that I crave. Now it’s just a matter of finding my hunger for growth in other areas of my life, that I may enjoy the discomfort as I broaden my horizens.
How can you challenge yourself this week?
It’s up to you to determine the areas that are holding you back. Figure this out and then find ways to ‘hit it head on’. See the discomfort as a figment of your imagination. Choose not to let it control you and ‘push through the pain’. If you do these things you will find that, in a good way, it will be harder and harder to find things that really hold you back. It is at this point that you have no limits; no restraints to impede your progress.
So pick a challenge this week, something that will truly make you uncomfortable, and just dive right in. None of this, testing the waters stuff. Don’t give yourself time to ‘ponder the situation’. Just jump right in!
Finally, I would like you to share your experiences throughout the week and let us know how it’s going. I know that this isn’t a FUN idea and I would love to just give you some ‘happy thoughts’. But this is the kind of thing that needs to happen if you want total freedom in your life. You need to break through these barriers and broaden your horizons!
But what to do if fear takes you in the middle of the jump?
You know that sometimes what holds you back is the fear to feel…FEAR.
@Antonio: Great point! I think that the feeling of fear is at the core of many discomforts. Using myself for example, my discomfort in social situations stems from a fear or rejection. For you to be able to overcome the restrictions of your comfort zones you will have to decide for yourself to feel the fear anyway. The more you feel it the less you will fear it.
“But what to do if fear takes you in the middle of the jump?”
I know it’s common for fear to paralyze us, especially right in the middle of an attempt at something new or different. I think if this happens you can only recover from it and try again and again until you can get yourself past this point. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s not easy. But very few things in life that are worth the effort are easy.
I’m kind of like you, I’m not a big small talk person. That kills me around the office because I always love to be on the cutting edge of what’s going on and I also don’t want to be thought of as the “guy in the corner that doesn’t talk to anyone”. There’s a group of folks I like to converse with, but there are plenty people in my department that I haven’t spoken to in weeks or even months!
This week I’ll make an effort to strike a conversation with everyone in my department at least once.
@Matt R: Excellent goal! That’s the kink of thing I’m talking about. All it takes to broaden your horizons are small steps that push the limits of what you feel comfortable doing.
Let us know how it goes.
It’s not easy for me to allow others to help me. It’s a trust issue thing. So actually even posting here is making me uncomfortable. It’s not you guys, it’s me. How’s that for a way to start?
I will step outside my comfort zone by setting up a plan to start studying for my career change to Freelance Bookkeeper. I want to be an excellent Bookkeeper-the kind that is knowledgeable and the kind that employers can trust I know what I’m doing. Then I will start devoting time to the studies. Ouch. There is a lot to study. It will take a LOT of my spare time, and that hurts. It is just so much easier to stay in my very-well paying job forever and not realize my dream because I don’t want to lose most of my spare time and am scared to make the jump -will it pay-will I have clients-will the gov’t take most of what I make in taxes-will there be too much competition-will????. It’s scary! The jump would be in about a year or so (I do have a family I am helping to support, so I can’t just put that in jeopardy on a whim). This series has made me think a lot about so many things. Thanks!
@Bonnie: First of all, let me just say thank you for posting your comments and not just keeping them to yourself. You have no idea the positive impact that this brings. For me, it is encouraging to know that something I have written on this blog is actually pushing another human being to even consider taking the scary steps of pursuing a dream. And I know for the others reading this blog, your story is an inspiration to make positive changes in all of our lives.
Now, as for your next steps. It sounds like you already have a good idea of what needs to happen and the best time for it to take place. This alone is a huge step in the right direction.
Five years ago I was in a similar position. I had a full time job with benefits and a consistent pay check. It was OK, but my dream was to be on my own. I wanted to have my own business so that I could have more freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted. I wanted to stop having to answer to a ‘boss’ and start clearing my own path.
The opportunity to start my technology consulting business presented itself and I jumped at the chance. But like you, I had responsibilities that were keeping me from taking the leap right away. I ended up having to ease my way into the situation, but it all worked out in the end. I used the transition time to learn as much as I possibly could so when the time came I was fully ready for this new adventure.
So I would encourage you to be patient and yet diligent at the same time. You’re already showing courage, as you stated, by posting this for all to see. Don’t let it be in vain, but instead use it as a constant reminder of the dream that is waiting to be acquired.
Keep us informed of your progress and let us know if there is anything we can do to help you on your way.
Maybe at some point you can submit some photos to our community site that represent this dream, that we may share in your vision for your future.