Over the weekend Liz and I continued in the pursuit deculuttering as we prepare for the nursery.  The last couple of weeks have been filled with your typical trashing of this, recycling of that and so on.  But now all the obvious stuff is gone and we’re moving into those items that have collected just as much dust as the others, but are somehow, in our minds, more meaningful or useful.  Now is where the psychology begins.  Now is when practical turns to personal attachment.  Now is the time to be relentless.

Let’s be real with ourselves.

So I’m staring at my bookshelf in my office.  What do I see?  Well, a bunch of books, of course.    But what stands out in my mind is the fact that, other than laying some bills on the top for temporary holding, I rarely ever touch a thing on that shelf.  OK, so this will be easy, right?  I mean, if I never read the books on the shelf than I can just get rid of them all and free up a ton of space.  Right?

As I started perusing the titles that lined the pine boards I instantly remembered why I ‘needed’ these particular books.  Oh, there’s the book on ‘How To Play Winning Chess”!  I keep meaning to learn more about that fascinating game.  And LOOK, there’s my Astronomy books!  One day I really want to learn all about our night’s sky.  OK, so I can’t get rid of those.  I mean, they need to be there when I’m ready to tackle those subjects; when I finally have the time.

You get my point.  In many different ways we emotionally attach ourselves to objects that we never use, but that give us some sense of comfort and promise for achievement or a greater tomorrow.  And yet most of these items are completely out of sight, out of mind.  It is only when our eyes land on them once again that the feelings come rushing back and the ‘reasons’ for keeping them around another day.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; it’s our good intentions that keep our lives entrenched in clutter.  Our imaginations that hold the shackles tightly to our ankles.

I once had a short visit with a neighbor who used to be consumed with gadgets.  Big ones, small ones, and almost ALWAYS expensive ones.  But as his kids grew older (he was a single father with a son and daughter) he started realizing the need to be frugal and save for college and those unexpected circumstances.  He also realized how much of his time was spent maintaining, and playing with these gadgets.  This was time that could have been spent with his loved ones.

So when I was at his house I asked him about his latest project and he slapped a Popular Mechanics magazine down on the kitchen table and said, “I’m just a fan now.”

He then proceeded to explain how he realized that he could get just as much enjoyment out of following what OTHERS where doing with gadgets and staying up on the latest trends and letting his imagination do the playing.  And the great thing was it was dirt cheap and something he could pick up and put down at the drop of a hat.  Even his kids became enthusiasts, but nothing more.  No obsession, just enjoyment.

Back to the books.

I tend to be this way.  I want to learn and experience EVERYTHING.  I’m afraid that I’ll miss out if I don’t pursue every hobby that’s out there.  But the fact is, most of those books represent nothing more then good intentions.  In the end, I can’t take on every extracurricular activity known to man.  And I especially can’t do this if I also desire any real depth of experience.  What great astronomer do you know of that equally delved into 10 other areas of expertise and still had time to enjoy family, friends and a beautiful summer afternoon?

Let me get to the point.

1. Figure out how much time you ACTUALLY have after the real needs are taken care of.
2. Then determine how many activities you could truly enjoy in the remaining free time.
3. Let’s say, for example, you’ve determined that you have time to fairly deeply pursue two non essential activities.  Now pick what two things bring the greatest satisfaction to your life.
4. Now simply get rid of everything else.

I know, I know, this is a little OVER simplified.  This may not work for everyone, but I can only see from my own personal experience.  What I see, after analyzing my bookshelf, is about ten too many activities that I’ll never get around to enjoying and that will just continue to collect dust and take up space.  I’m done harboring the objects of my good intentions.  I’m ready to clear out the ‘one day’s’ so I can make room for the ‘right now’s’.

So what I’m doing/have done, is pick two non-essential activities/types of objects.  Anything of value that pertain to these two areas will remain in our home.  Anything else, GONE!!!  (Many people, myself included, have two distinct sides to them.  For me, sometimes I tap into my imagination and passion, while other times it’s all about tech.  So whatever you do, try to prepare for your ‘multiple personalities’.  As an example, I pursue my passions by biking and flying my RC gliders, while I tap into my tech side with blogging and cloud consulting.)

The benefits of this kind of decluttering.

What do most of these good intentions give us?

• Less room.
• Greater distraction for those things that are more important.
• A feeling of discouragement every time we remember this good intention we are NOT tending to.

The fact is, once we’re done with our work, our must-dos, our family needs and wants and take the necessary time to tend to our OWN physical and emotional needs, we’re left with very little time and energy.  By just having two or three of our favorite types of objects waiting there for our free time focus we are allowed much greater enjoyment and satisfaction.

This doesn’t mean we can’t dabble in a little of this and a little of that.  Just be a fan of life’s multiplicity of hobbies.  We just don’t need to OWN all these items.  We don’t need to harbor the mass to appreciate the purpose. We can live starkly simple physical lives while still putting our feelers out into all that the World around us has to offer.

So the next time you’re trying to declutter your life, do yourself a favor and break through the barrier of good intentions.  Pick your top two or three favorites and then do away with the rest.  The best things in life are free, and the rest of our time should be spent with only our absolute favorite objects that we ACTUALLY use and truly bring satisfaction to our lives.

Eric

1: Edit your day.

This first one is kind of a foundational step.  You can use this step to build more steps to declutter.

Keep a notepad and pen with you for an entire day (or multiple days if necessary).  Throughout the day try to stay in tune to anything that is either out of place, unnecessary, or just needs to be organized.  When you come across such a situation make note of it and move on.  The goal at first is to list it and not actually fix it.  This will be done once the list is completed.  Once you feel confident that most of the real problem areas have been noted you can start chipping away one item at a time.  Before you know it you will go though a whole day without coming across a major distraction (at least one that you could have prevented).

2: Clean out and organize your bookmarks.

Most of us probably use browser bookmarks or favorites in one way or another.  And if you’re like me you have amassed a plethora of links.  Over time you end up with about 10% of links that you use on a regular basis and about another 25% that you refer to from time to time.  So chances are you have a bunch that you can get rid of.  So go through them, delete what you don’t need and organize what you have left.  And when you organize them, try to keep the most commonly used ones together.  This will make your web surfing much more efficient!  You might not think this is a big deal but try looking at it this way.  Let’s assume you can save yourself a few seconds every time you go to click on a bookmark by not having to search through your bucket-o-bookmarks.  Now think of how many times you click on different links in any given day.  You can see how this time can add up.  But more than the time it’s the unnecessarily wasted brain power you used to search for something that shouldn’t have to be searched for in the first place.

3: Get rid of books you no longer need.

If you’re reading this blog I have to assume that you like to read.  And if that’s the case you probably own a few books.  And if that’s also true I can make an educated guess that you have a few books that you don’t need anymore (this may be a huge understatement for some).  So if any of this is true, go through the books you have and mercilessly get rid of everything you have no more use for.  Then, once this has been accomplished, organize them and, just like you bookmarks, try to keep a shelf full of just the books you are currently reading or that you most often reference.  And, also like the bookmarks, you will find that you spend less time searching for a book as well as less distracted by the multitude of options, many of which shouldn’t be there in the first place.  And, unlike the bookmarks, this will clear up a lot of space as well.

4: Decide on the undecided.

Write down all of the things in your life (decisions, opportunities, etc…) that have yet to be decided.  This could be something small like whether or not to cancel a magazine subscriton or what to do about carpooling to work.  Or it could be a more important decision like whether or not to change doctors or accept a job offer.

Then go through the list and pick out the easy ones.  Now give it a few minutes thought and then right down your answer.  Then move onto the bigger questions.  Here, you may need to consult a spouse or colleague, but, if you can, give it a few minutes thought and then write down your answer.  Then over the next couplf of days/weeks use this a guide to make these decisions once and for all and get them out of your head for good.

You might be wondering about the why I think that a few minutes is sufficient for making, in some situations, big decisions.  The fact is, you’re subconscious had probably been chewing on this for weeks and already made the best decision for you.  It then only takes a few minutes to let your conscious mind become privy to this valuable information.

5: Go through your clothes.

One of the most common distractions for humans is what to wear.  Part of the problem is that, just like the bookmarks and the books we probably only use half, if not less, or our clothes in our closets.  This can be done in a 3 step process.  First, pick out everything you wear on a regular basis.  Second, pick out the items that you wear on occasion.  Finally, pick out the clothes that are left that you have worn in the last year (I say a year because some items might be seasonal).  What’s left, GET RID OF IT!!!

6: Reduce junk mail.

Nothing is more distracting (and annoying) than getting those phone calls from telemarketers.  This, like any other distraction, can pull you away from the important things in life.  For this, you just need to go to http://donotcall.gov and sign up to get your name off “The List”.

Then there’s spam!  This can be just as obnoxious.  At Least you can delete them instantly.  But what if you have hundreds a day?  There are a few good options here.

• Get some spam filtering software. This software filters emails as they are downloaded to your computer and moves the junk to a different folder than your inbox.  This option is OK but can be a distraction in and of itself.
• Go to your webmail and see if you can turn on or configure server side filtering. Server side filtering is when your email provider uses the filtering software on their end so your computer never even sees the junk.  The advantage is that you have less emails to download and less to mess with on your end.  Just make sure to periodically check your spam folder, either on your computer or on your webmail, to make sure it’s not filtering legit mail.
• Get a new address. This is by far the most effective way to stop spam in its tracks.  The problem is that you will have to contact everybody and let them know of your new address.  And if you have business cards or other forms of advertising with this info you may not want to do this.  But if you can hack it, get a new email address.  I would suggest a gmail address if possible.  This is Google Mail and it has a great server side mail filter.  It’s free and is independent of services.  So if you change from cable Internet to DSL you won’t have to change your email address.  The key is to keep your old address as a junk address.  Then, next time you need to use an email account for registration or signup you can use this address.  If it then gets sold to advertisers you won’t care.  You can just go into that account every week or so and wipe all the mail out without batting an eye.  It feels good!

Finally, you have paper mail.  What about this?  There isn’t a do-not-mail is there?  Well, yes and no.  I recently came across this website http://donotmail.org.  It’s a petition to get one established.  It also has some great info on the issues of junkmail and other tips.  But for now, recycle, recycle, recycle!

7: Don’t put things off!

Try to look at tasks like a hot potato.  When they get put in you hands make sure to take care of it ASAP.  Try to see that you will get burned if you don’t.  One of the biggest distractions is a build up of unfinished tasks.  Not only do they need to be done but they weigh you down more and more.  The lighter the burden the more you will get accomplished.  So if something comes your way that you will need to do at some point in time, get it done NOW and you’ll never be weighed down again.

8: Meditate.

This doesn’t have to be a religious experience or anything (though it certainly can be).  I just know that to stay focused and on task you need a clear mind.  And there’s no better way of clearing your mind that sitting quietly, focusing on your breathing, and just letting your mind relax.  Do this for about 15 minutes a day (same time is even better) and you will find yourself feeling more focused and clearheaded throughout the day.

9: Fix things that need fixing.

You know what I’m talking about.  That creaky door, the wobbly table, that leaky toilet.  These are the things that remind us that something isn’t right.  These are the things that, every time we notice them, make us feel like we are behind on our responsibilities.  But getting them done and out of the way has the opposite affect.  When you get this stuff done you get this sense of accomplishment and feel like you’re ready take on bigger and more important tasks.  So make a list of all these items in your life and start with the simplest, work your way to the more challenging tasks and get it done.

10: Let It Go.

Sometimes there are things cluttering your mind that you have no control over.  These may be hurtful memories from your past or worries about the future.  Either way, you need to let go of these burdensome thoughts and feelings and move on.  They will only eat at you if you don’t.  And if you can’t don anything about them than there is no benefit to holding on.  I know this is easier said than done but I also know that this is ability is a skill that can be acquired by anyone.  So learn it and use it.  Your mind will thank you!