The ‘ball dropping’ hype, followed by a passion and excitement for a more fantastic tomorrow, seem to absorb much of the energy that’s meant for the actual changes to take place.  We fill up on bread while waiting for the opportunity to dig in to the main course, only to find our appetite has been prematurely and unintentionally quenched.  By the time we enter into the very beginnings of February we are already falling back into our blandly average existence.  What went wrong?!

The Gym Membership Mistake

I’m sure many of us are aware of the masses of new gym memberships that are acquired this time of year.  People who have never seemed to break through the barriers of that one month hump, seem to feel that THIS year will be different.  But for about 80%, it is not.

I had a great ‘back and forth’ in the comment’s section of Writer Dad, with James of Men With Pens.  I had written a guest post about the importance of motivation in reaching our goals this New Year.  James brought up some excellent points about our need to clearly define our desires and know what we really want.  Toward the end of this comment conversation we had defined the need for both desire and motivation to ‘join together in Holy Matrimony’.  It is only in this perfect marriage that we can possibly think something like a one month barrier can be broken.  Attempt this feat, one with out the other, and you’re journey will be doomed from the start.

Here is a ‘snippet’ of one of my comments:

“I’ve always believed that they go hand-in-hand; work together. One without the other (desire without motivation, for example), going back to the engine analogy, is like driving a car with square wheels. You may be able to keep moving forward with brute force (desire), but will never pick up momentum (motivation) and ‘fly on by’. You may be thinking that motivation is supposed to be the brute force, but I look at the other way around.

Let’s say you’re driving along, motivation keeping the odometer pegged. Suddenly you hit a hill and lose all momentum. At this point you have to dig deep and feed off the desire to make it up the hill (losing that last 10 pounds, as you mentioned). But once you reach the top of the mountain your momentum/motivation builds back up and you speed on down the hill.

So I’m saying it’s a perfect marriage, one that can’t be separated. At least if you want the ‘full effect’ of your forward motion.“

Basically, our initial motivation to make positive changes in our lives is what gets us through the first stage of the New Year.  But it’s when we hit that first ‘hump’ that the wind can completely leave our sails and we must rely on our deep desire to push ahead and stay on track.  Fail to do so and you’ll just roll backward, but make it over the peak and your motivational momentum will kick back in and give you the boost you need to truly change your life.  (Oh, and speaking of going down hill; the later part of the discussion turned into talk about how Sean’s lazy, how I clean his gutters and do his laundry and how James has his toilets cleaned for free.  DON’T ASK! )

In light of the above thoughts and our absolute need to make it to that next level of lasting positive change, I’ve provided 10 things that I believe will help us all make it into February, heads held hi and goals becoming realized.

1. Start small. A great way to get no where in January is to try and take on the World from the start.  I’m not saying you don’t have that on the list, just be sure to build up to it with some small accomplishments already under your belt.
2. Clearly define your desire. Don’t just say you want to lose weight.  Make sure you know how much you want to lose.  And know exactly WHY you want to make the change.  The closer you are to grasping your goal in the precise form you desire, the more effective your drive will be as you periodically perceive the purpose of the pain involved in your pursuit.  (Does anybody see any P’s around here?  I’ve seemed to have run out. )
3. Adjust your surroundings appropriately. Can you see an alcoholic sitting in AA, telling the group about their struggles to stay sober while working at a bar?  If we want to stop eating junk food then we need to rid our kitchen and pantries of this particular food.  Not only that, but we need to be careful where we go when our cravings strike.  Basic preparation is not enough.  We need to think ahead and be ready to defend our desired change to the ‘death’.
4. Substitute a loss with positive gain. If you take something away from yourself in making the change, make sure you’re aware of the void you have created.  There was a need or desire that was being fulfilled that is now left in want.  Find a healthy, positive substitute and place it accordingly.  If you’re not eating dessert, have a small piece of fruit instead.  If you’re buying less things, find free activities to fill the ‘purchase time’ that used to take place.
5. Enlist a friend to aid in the journey. There’s no better way to stay on track than to have a fellow human being encourage you along the way.  When things are going well, they can applaud your accomplishments, but when you find yourself running out of steam it will be their cheers that will re-establish your enthusiasm and get you over that hump.  Finding someone who is ALSO pursuing positive change is even better.  This way you can share the pats on the back and cherish each others cheers.  And what you’ll find to be the best medicine for success is the wonderful feeling of encouraging another.  Suddenly your focus is pointing outward and your own struggles feel less impossible.
6. Declare your resolutions to the World. Letting the ‘masses’ know about your personal challenge will help keep you from letting the desire die.  Accountability is at least ‘lightly’ established and your statement is set in stone.  If you’d like to share your resolutions with this particular community, click here and let us know what you plan to pursue in 2009.
7. Set a time line. Don’t leave your resolutions to ‘rot’ over the next 365 days.  An entire year for a deadline is almost always too much cushion.  Set fairly aggressive spans of space to reach the next mile post on your journey.  Once accomplished, reset the clock and continue to push forward.  This may sound like a recipe for burnout, but the opposite will most certainly be a road to failure.  Just be sure to listen to your mind and body and take breaks when you need a breather and you’ll be just fine.
8. Celebrate each step forward. Nothing better promotes forward motion than our own excitement of the ground we’ve tackled thus far.  Make sure you are fully aware of every victory (no matter how small) and you will build up a momentum that can carry you through the bumps in the road.
9. Don’t be afraid to make adjustments, as long as they don’t lead you in the wrong direction. If you realize that losing 20 pounds in 2 weeks is too drastic and unhealthy, than make the proper adjustments and keep on going.  Don’t become discouraged or feel like you’ve failed.  It’s not about the numbers or the time, but it’s the lasting results that matter.
10. Take it one day at a time. It’s classic advise that’s passed the greatest tests of time.  Though having a strong vision of our future is important, reaching these mileposts in our journey requires steady steps and finite focus.  When thoughts of where we MIGHT be crowd out the facts of our current state, we risk becoming unnecessarily discouraged.  Running that marathon in march might not seem possible by the middle of January, but let time tell that tale.  Your job is to tame the tasks of today and nothing else.