What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?
Please enable Javascript and Flash to view this Viddler video.Peter woke up early that morning, the freshly baked sun beaming its way into his bedroom window. As he slid out of bed he looked over at his wife Sarah, peacefully resting, unaffected by the incoming rays.
“Today was going to be another scorcher”, he thought to himself as he laced up his semi-casual work shoes. “At least I get to sit in an air conditioned office.” Peter was once again trying to convince himself that his lackluster position as assistant manager at the local office supply store was really not that bad. He was always looking for ways to ‘see the bright side’, but his feelings never took the bait.
Like any other day, Peter was off to open the store, reign in the morning employees and spend his 10 hours of daily dues pretending to care about sales numbers and monthly goals that the ‘higher ups’ had set before him. As he neared the sliding glass doors of the Office Emporium, Peter lifted his head, put on his fake smile and somberly drudged into his daily domain.
The Other Half
As Peter pushed through his morning routine, Sarah was at home packing brown bags with PBJ’s and potato chips. One of the few things that Peter and Sarah remained passionate about was their two little boys, John and Peter Jr (who they jokingly referred to as 2nd Peter, in reference to the book in the Bible.)
Sarah was a pretty young woman with lots of life in her. She loved her husband and cared dearly for her two children. Choosing to be a stay-at-home mother, Sarah was prepared to live on a bit less as she had quit her job weeks after finding out that her and Peter were going to enjoy parenthood within the year.
Sarah smiled a lot, much more than Peter, yet you could still see her inner flame was constantly having to be re-ignited. She was a half-full kind of person, yet she was always affected when she saw Peter’s daily frustration as he drudged through his so called career. It pained her to see him knowingly disregard his God given talents to pay the bills. She saw so much passion and potential in her hard working husband, but that flame dimmed a bit more each day as his possibilities for change seemed to dwindle.
Off To School
The School bus pulled up to the neighborhood stop and Sarah watched as little John and Peter Jr walked up the steps that led them into the big yellow bus. Sarah giggled as she does every day, finding humor in the over sized backpacks that practically swallowed her two boys whole. Then the bus grumbled up to speed and drove off to the next stop on its list.
Dinner Conversation
As Peter walked in the door, the last dinner plate was being set in its proper place.
“Mmmmmm…that smells heavenly…” Sarah heard her husband compliment her food every time he smelled or tasted it, but she knew his praise was genuine each and every time and that meant the world to her.
“How was work?” Sarah liked to ask as she never wanted Peter to think she didn’t care to know about his day-to-day life spent away from home.
“It was work and it pays the bills.” This was Peter’s coined phrase, something he’d say when his honest answer was too depressing to consider entertaining.
“Well, you’re home and we’re happy to see you. Now let’s get some food in you.”
The boys came running in to greet their dad. “DAAAAAD!!!”
“Hey guys! How was school? Did you learn anything fun and exciting?!” Peter, though dying inside when future was tagged with his own name, the possibilities he saw in his two boys were tremendous and would inspire anyone to make the most of their days.
“We did, we did!!” 2nd Peter, being just a year and half younger than John and equipped with a talkative spirit, piped up in response to daddy’s question. “We learned about all the cool stuff we can do when we get older. The teacher asked us what we wanted to be, what stuff we got excited about”
“And I’m going to fly airplanes!!” John finally actively joined the conversation. Passionate about everything that has the ability to defy gravity, John has dreamed of nothing but manning the many machines that soar through the air.
By the time the boys had finished their outburst of excitement, Peter was sporting a smile from ear to ear. His eyes were beaming with a boyish glow and he couldn’t wait to hear more. He enjoyed nothing more than to hear that his sons were going to take the World by the horns and ride each day like it was their last.
Sarah also enjoyed these kinds of conversations, but not just because her boys were full of life, but because it was one of the few times she saw hope for something better in Peter’s normally placid pupils. She smiled and then piped up, “Alright boys!” (grinning at her husband as she had purposefully phrased her statement as if she were the mother of three) “Let’s sit down and eat. The food’s getting cold.”
For the rest of the evening Sarah’s three ‘boys’ talked about this exciting subject. Peter was just as active in the back and forth as they hashed out their plans to do this and do that and how they were going to invent cool stuff and enjoy the future that was waiting to be embraced.
But as the conversation came to a close, Peter’s enthusiasm began to cool off as he glanced at the clock and remembered his morning meeting that was only hours away.
“Off to bed you two. You’re going to need your rest if you plan on starting your new adventures.” Peter knew this would get his sons in gear and it worked like a charm. It was a smart parenting tactic, but it was genuinely stated none the less.
The Conversation
Sarah sat down with Peter when she had put away the last of the dessert leftovers. “Honey, do you realize that you were talking to yourself during much of your conversation with the boys?”
“You think?” Peter’s tone was questioning, but with no sense of surprise. “Which part?”
“The WHOLE part. The entire conversation. From the second you realized the topic was about living the life that you wanted and not one that was chosen for you, the light turned on and your normally stress filled tone was like it was when I first met you.” Sarah was hoping that Peter would take her observations as pictures of possibility and not just a reminder of what could have been.
“You know how it is. You remember the days when tomorrow seemed filled with limitless possibility. When your list of what ifs far outweighed the fact of what is. I just let myself get a bit caught up in the moment and dreamed of much different circumstances. I started to think about a life that involved more time and freedom and work that filled me with enthusiasm, not frustration. But don’t worry, I’m not planning on quitting my job or anything. I was just playing along.” Then Peter got up from the couch and made his way up to the bedroom, sensing the days end and coming sunrise.
Sarah stayed seated for quite some time. She just couldn’t get Peter’s final comments out of her head. When he assured her that he wasn’t going to leave his job, her emotions had taken on a stance that was completely different from her past concerns. She found herself screaming inside, “Quite the damn thing! QUIT!!!”
An Unfinished Story
I could continue to play out this scene, but I believe it’s a story that is all too common, yet has many different endings. I wrote it as a kind of fictional story of my factual past, yet I have a feeling some others who read it will be able to relate.
I’m not in any way advocating the mass exodus from our current lines of work, but I am encouraging all of us to be honest with ourselves when assessing our work life and the lifestyle that goes along with it. I truly believe that there is a form of income producing activity that is actually appealing to each individual and not completely out of reach.
If you are someone who is not happy with your job or business or so far from your childhood aspirations to achieve great things, you need to take a long look at your life and how you’re living it. And when I say ‘great things’ I mean whatever you believe is worth your time, effort and focus. We have powerful minds and amazing hearts that are capable of producing something that no other individual can muster. So by falling in line with the masses and doing ‘what you’re supposed to do’ you are snuffing out the flame inside you.
So whether you’re stuck or just struggling to make your way to a better space, I encourage you to open your eyes to the possibilities and never settle for anything less than amazing, whatever your amazing happens to be.
Eric
8 Responses to “What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?”
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Good post and a good story too!! It is so reflective of what most people end up doing. Though I haven’t done that and neither has my husband, I’ve watched other people in my family and friends do jobs they hate just for the money. Money is a big deal, but your job is how you spend most of your time. I certainly don’t want to spend most of my time doing something I hate. Once you do that for too long, you disconnect with your true passion in life. You forget what you liked to do or what you wanted to do. It’s such a shame. People just need the courage and encouragement to start following their dreams. Thanks for the post.
Its all about doing what you love. When it comes to being anything when your are a grown up or when you grow up its about your passion. What do you want to do? What makes feel super great as your doing it? By asking yourself a few question you begin to come to conclusions about your path toward success.
“Once you do that for too long, you disconnect with your true passion in life.”
I think you nailed it right there. Just like the main character in the story, it’s easy to drift so far from our original passions/gifts that we can completely disconnect with who we really are. And that’s when we find ourselves spending our days in a job that we despise and a life that’s lost all meaning. Eric
Good points. Thanks for sharing.
Eric
Eric, I’m at this point in my life. I’ve been married for 8 years, and I have a daughter that is 7. I got married at age 20. I’ve had a pretty good run of successful jobs but now I can’t force myself to get out there and do it anymore. It’s paralyzing and now I’m trying to find my way. I’m at the point that I am going to leave my current position and move on, but without a plan B at this point… well a solid plan B. It’s alot more tougher to make these decisions with a family that depends on you =(
Hey Tony, I can definitely relate. It’s only been recently that we’ve had a child, but it’s been on my shoulders to pay the bills each month and support my wife and son and it can be scary at times.
You mentioned that you don’t have a solid plan B. The fact is that few of us ever do. We don’t know if somethings going to pan out unless we give it a go. And often times this requires that we take some risks.
Now this doesn’t mean we can’t use our brains and really chew on the pros and cons and such, but in the end we have to make a choice. Choose to stay in our “safe” position that makes us unhappy or take some risks and hopefully one day find ourselves living the life we intended from the get go.
I hope you find that place one day, but be prepared for things to go wrong from time to time. It can be a bumpy road, but hand in there.
I can say this for sure. If your wife isn’t behind you 100% on this decision it WILL NOT WORK. So be sure you guys are on the same page. If so, you’ll make it through. If not, you and your marriage will be in for a rude awakening.
That’s just my 2 cents, though. Eric
Eric that’s a really powerful story. No one wants to be that guy (or gal) who suppresses his natural feelings and passions. To me, the picture that you painted with that story motivates me to make sure I don’t become that guy, and contrarily, that I try to be more like the kids – excited about what they want to do when they “grow up”.
I’m new to your blog. I migrated over from Zen Habits and I’ll definitely be visiting regularly.
Thanks!
Hey Joe, I’m really glad you were able to connect with my writing like you did. The struggle between the father’s ‘beat up by the world’ mindset vs the kids fresh, positive and hopeful perspectives is a constant one for me. Like you said, the key is to be less like the dad and more like the kids.
Thanks for popping over from zenhabits and I hope to see you more in the future.
Eric