What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

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Peter woke up early that morning, the freshly baked sun beaming its way into his bedroom window.  As he slid out of bed he looked over at his wife Sarah, peacefully resting, unaffected by the incoming rays.

“Today was going to be another scorcher”, he thought to himself as he laced up his semi-casual work shoes.  “At least I get to sit in an air conditioned office.”  Peter was once again trying to convince himself that his lackluster position as assistant manager at the local office supply store was really not that bad.  He was always looking for ways to ‘see the bright side’, but his feelings never took the bait.

Like any other day, Peter was off to open the store, reign in the morning employees and spend his 10 hours of daily dues pretending to care about sales numbers and monthly goals that the ‘higher ups’ had set before him.  As he neared the sliding glass doors of the Office Emporium, Peter lifted his head, put on his fake smile and somberly drudged into his daily domain.

The Other Half

As Peter pushed through his morning routine, Sarah was at home packing brown bags with PBJ’s and potato chips.  One of the few things that Peter and Sarah remained passionate about was their two little boys, John and Peter Jr (who they jokingly referred to as 2nd Peter, in reference to the book in the Bible.)

Sarah was a pretty young woman with lots of life in her.  She loved her husband and cared dearly for her two children.  Choosing to be a stay-at-home mother, Sarah was prepared to live on a bit less as she had quit her job weeks after finding out that her and Peter were going to enjoy parenthood within the year.

Sarah smiled a lot, much more than Peter, yet you could still see her inner flame was constantly having to be re-ignited.  She was a half-full kind of person, yet she was always affected when she saw Peter’s daily frustration as he drudged through his so called career.  It pained her to see him knowingly disregard his God given talents to pay the bills.  She saw so much passion and potential in her hard working husband, but that flame dimmed a bit more each day as his possibilities for change seemed to dwindle.

Off To School

The School bus pulled up to the neighborhood stop and Sarah watched as little John and Peter Jr walked up the steps that led them into the big yellow bus.  Sarah giggled as she does every day, finding humor in the over sized backpacks that practically swallowed her two boys whole.  Then the bus grumbled up to speed and drove off to the next stop on its list.

Dinner Conversation

As Peter walked in the door, the last dinner plate was being set in its proper place.

“Mmmmmm…that smells heavenly…”  Sarah heard her husband compliment her food every time he smelled or tasted it, but she knew his praise was genuine each and every time and that meant the world to her.

“How was work?”  Sarah liked to ask as she never wanted Peter to think she didn’t care to know about his day-to-day life spent away from home.

“It was work and it pays the bills.”  This was Peter’s coined phrase, something he’d say when his honest answer was too depressing to consider entertaining.

“Well, you’re home and we’re happy to see you.  Now let’s get some food in you.”

The boys came running in to greet their dad.  “DAAAAAD!!!”

“Hey guys!  How was school?  Did you learn anything fun and exciting?!”  Peter, though dying inside when future was tagged with his own name, the possibilities he saw in his two boys were tremendous and would inspire anyone to make the most of their days.

“We did, we did!!”  2nd Peter, being just a year and half younger than John and equipped with a talkative spirit, piped up in response to daddy’s question.  “We learned about all the cool stuff we can do when we get older.  The teacher asked us what we wanted to be, what stuff we got excited about”

“And I’m going to fly airplanes!!”  John finally actively joined the conversation.  Passionate about everything that has the ability to defy gravity, John has dreamed of nothing but manning the many machines that soar through the air.

By the time the boys had finished their outburst of excitement, Peter was sporting a smile from ear to ear.  His eyes were beaming with a boyish glow and he couldn’t wait to hear more.  He enjoyed nothing more than to hear that his sons were going to take the World by the horns and ride each day like it was their last.

Sarah also enjoyed these kinds of conversations, but not just because her boys were full of life, but because it was one of the few times she saw hope for something better in Peter’s normally placid pupils.  She smiled and then piped up, “Alright boys!” (grinning at her husband as she had purposefully phrased her statement as if she were the mother of three) “Let’s sit down and eat.  The food’s getting cold.”

For the rest of the evening Sarah’s three ‘boys’ talked about this exciting subject.  Peter was just as active in the back and forth as they hashed out their plans to do this and do that and how they were going to invent cool stuff and enjoy the future that was waiting to be embraced.

But as the conversation came to a close, Peter’s enthusiasm began to cool off as he glanced at the clock and remembered his morning meeting that was only hours away.

“Off to bed you two.  You’re going to need your rest if you plan on starting your new adventures.”  Peter knew this would get his sons in gear and it worked like a charm.  It was a smart parenting tactic, but it was genuinely stated none the less.

The Conversation

Sarah sat down with Peter when she had put away the last of the dessert leftovers.  “Honey, do you realize that you were talking to yourself during much of your conversation with the boys?”

“You think?”  Peter’s tone was questioning, but with no sense of surprise.  “Which part?”

“The WHOLE part.  The entire conversation.  From the second you realized the topic was about living the life that you wanted and not one that was chosen for you, the light turned on and your normally stress filled tone was like it was when I first met you.”  Sarah was hoping that Peter would take her observations as pictures of possibility and not just a reminder of what could have been.

“You know how it is.  You remember the days when tomorrow seemed filled with limitless possibility.  When your list of what ifs far outweighed the fact of what is.  I just let myself get a bit caught up in the moment and dreamed of much different circumstances.  I started to think about a life that involved more time and freedom and work that filled me with enthusiasm, not frustration.  But don’t worry, I’m not planning on quitting my job or anything.  I was just playing along.”  Then Peter got up from the couch and made his way up to the bedroom, sensing the days end and coming sunrise.

Sarah stayed seated for quite some time.  She just couldn’t get Peter’s final comments out of her head.  When he assured her that he wasn’t going to leave his job, her emotions had taken on a stance that was completely different from her past concerns.  She found herself screaming inside, “Quite the damn thing!  QUIT!!!”

An Unfinished Story

I could continue to play out this scene, but I believe it’s a story that is all too common, yet has many different endings.  I wrote it as a kind of fictional story of my factual past, yet I have a feeling some others who read it will be able to relate.

I’m not in any way advocating the mass exodus from our current lines of work, but I am encouraging all of us to be honest with ourselves when assessing our work life and the lifestyle that goes along with it.  I truly believe that there is a form of income producing activity that is actually appealing to each individual and not completely out of reach.

If you are someone who is not happy with your job or business or so far from your childhood aspirations to achieve great things, you need to take a long look at your life and how you’re living it.  And when I say ‘great things’ I mean whatever you believe is worth your time,  effort and focus. We have powerful minds and amazing hearts that are capable of producing something that no other individual can muster.  So by falling in line with the masses and doing ‘what you’re supposed to do’ you are snuffing out the flame inside you.

So whether you’re stuck or just struggling to make your way to a better space, I encourage you to open your eyes to the possibilities and never settle for anything less than amazing, whatever your amazing happens to be.

Eric